Melbourne

Melbourne Airport Terminal Parking

December 27, 2023

When you park at Melbourne Airport to pick someone up you have a couple of options; the Melbourne Airport Wait Zone, which is free, but you have to contend with the 'Public pick up' which, while free will test your patience quite a bit.

Through the trees, the front of Melbourne Airport

The next realistic option is "Terminal parking" which is the car park located opposite the airport terminal. I've parked here on a number of occasions when picking my dad up from the airport.

The occasion before I parked in the wait zone parking I did just so, parking in the Terminal parking. I discovered that you could pre-pay parking to save some money. (Something I was not aware of prior to that.)

On this occasion I did pre-pay, you get a QR code to scan upon entry and exit, at least that is how it is meant to work in theory.

In order to book the parking you need to state a time that you're going to arrive and depart, the latter is easy enough; time of flight arrival plus 40 minutes in case of problems.

Time of arrival, in theory is also easy enough; travel time plus 25 minutes. Because Melbourne traffic is so variable sometimes an accident or incident can quickly add up to mean that you're not going to arrive at your destination at the right time.

So I'd set my arrival time for 2:30 pm.

But due to the traffic not being terrible I actually arrived near the airport at 2:00 pm, I knew (because I read the T&Cs) that there was 15 minute leeway for entry, so I went for a drive past the airport. (This 15 minute leeway window applies to booking of under 4 hours according to their T&Cs, over 4 hours and you get a 2 hour window)

However, in writing this post up I looked through their FAQ at the bottom of the 'Parking refunds' page which states that you can arrive 2 hours before your booked entry time and not incur a fee.

As I'd arrived early, and not wishing to incur a fee, I instead drove past the airport parking turn off, driving past the airport and heading for Sunbury on the Tullamarine Freeway. Then I did a U-turn at the Oaklands Road roundabout, that's also where the aircraft viewing area is for runway 16. In hindsight I should've just parked up there and watched the planes come in.

I did the U-turn and drove back, turning off at the exit that's simply labelled as "Airport", which takes you past what I'd assume to be the aircraft fuel storage, and around and under the Tullamarine Freeway, pushing you out near the BP and Maccas at the exit of the airport.

I drove up to the entrance to the Terminal car park entrance and scanned my QR code to enter the car park, a little awkward to get your phone under the scanner on the parking machine. But easy enough, to enter, exiting would be another thing however...

Entrance 1 & Ticket Machines

Entrance 2 & Ticket Machines

Both Entrances

I elected to go up to Level 3 - the roof, or up to there and then more parking atop that, as in the past that's where people haven't parked, and therefore was easier to park.

Nope, not this time, it was quite full.

At first I thought it was just that there was building work going on that was using up spaces in the car park. You reach level 3 by going up the circular ramps on the side of the car park (that is if you enter from Arrival Drive).

I ended up parking in Level 3, section L, with a pleasant view out south east out of the car park. It's under cover of the second part of the muli-storey car park.

First thing I needed to find were toilets, of which there are few within the car park itself, I did briefly consult the National Public Toilet Map app, but it wasn't helpful. I headed towards the terminal, but found that the car park does have toilet facilities. They're located on the ground level. They are functional, but not big, one male, one female and a disabled toilet and each door just goes straight into the toilet, so it's a combo toilet, sink and Dyson airblade dryer.

The men's toilet (as they tend to do) smelt of urine, so unsure how often they're cleaned. These car park toilets certainly had an air of being less cared for than those within the terminal building itself.

Having relieved my bladder I went back up to level 3 to time how long it takes to walk from the lifts to the edge of the terminal car park, where I'd parked. Because my dad loves to complain and I knew he'd find any opportunity to complain about stuff. So I set a timer and set about walking back to my car to check how long it would take.

2 minutes 30 seconds.

The car park spaces are of a decent size, especially if you park next to a support column where there is extra room on one side of the space.

But even if you're driving a large American-style pick up truck, they will still fit relatively well.

All that I saw were reversed in, which I used to do when I had my Ford Ranger, as it's the most effective way to get the vehicle into a tight spot and fit it properly.

On Level 2 of the car park there is "Premium" and Valet parking, where the car park appears to have been renovated, with paint on the concrete and a more fancy walk way painted blue that is separated from the road with barriers.

Level 2

Premium walkway fenced off

Premium pickup

Premium walkway

After waiting around for about and hour and a half or so until dad's flight landed, it was time to exit. I had my phone and the QR code held on it ready to scan at the exit and the screen said "Ticket Not Valid". I tried again, and again and then it said I needed to pay a further $30.

Which means essentially I had paid twice and it ended up costing me about the same as I would have paid had I just rocked up and paid to get in.

Immediately upon returning home I submitted a refund request on Melbourne Airport's website, submitting both the booking number for my QR code entry and a photo of the receipt from the machine upon my exit.

The processing time for this, as listed on their website is 8-9 business days, which is a surprisingly long amount of time, not even 7 business days, but 8-9.

After 10 business days I sent another request with the reference number, and was issued with another "A case has been opened for your request".

14 business days on from sending the first parking refund message and they refunded the money I had to pay to exit.

The result of all this?

Well, I probably won't pre-pay for the parking, as it seems to be fraught with mistakes, and by the time you want to exit, you just want to leave. And at the ticket machine there's no apparent option other than to pay the additional fee.

Maybe if I get there early I'll go and sit in the aircraft viewing area?

Or maybe I'll drive out further to Bulla or something.

I won't park and wander the airport, and I'll just adjust my time to arrive accordingly.

I'll obviously still need to park in the airport, but it'll be a much, much shorter time.

Melbourne Now

August 18, 2023 in New Adventures

Perspective on a flat surface
2016
cotton, wool

I'd not been to the NGV at Federation Square for some time. I had seen that Melbourne Now was on, kinda via a promo email from Globe Shoes before my trip to Canberra.

It's only got two more days to run, and still had a good amount of people wandering through it today (Friday 18th August 2023).

Covering all levels of gallery at NGV Federation Square it shows off contemporary local artists. In some of the spaces there was also historic art like landscapes etc.

There's weird art installations and traditional art, along with fashion and an odd VR thing that people were waiting for, but I couldn't find info on until a looked it up, and it's something I would not wish to experience.

Wandering around it made me want to see more art stuff, so I guess that's good.

A spring morning near Fernshaw

Sky whispers

The planet

The Grand Trailer Park Taverna

November 20, 2016

I should have gone to the Imperial Hotel for a chicken parma.

I was eating early because I was going to the Little Dum Dum Club which began at 6:30 pm.

I was going to go to the Arbory, except the weather was in the process of shifting from muggy to cool with a wind slowly blowing through the city and I was dressed for the latter so I didn’t want to go from where I had parked (Federation Square) down to Flinders Street station (where Arbory is) and then back up to the European Bier Cafe on Exhibition Street where the Little Dum Dum Club would be later in the evening.

I could have eaten at the European Bier Cafe, but I wanted to try somewhere different.
Often, when looking for places to eat in the city I turn to ParmaDaze.com which offers a good, single minded review of all things crumbed chicken-based.
Then in my searching I found Burgers of Melbourne not as detailed as ParmaDaze, but it’s certainly an interesting site if looking for real images of burgers, albeit a bit Instagram-styled images. Their site has a fairly detailed star rating breakdown, and gave The Grand Trailer Park Taverna a good rating.

I went into The Grand Trailer Park Taverna having looked at the menu online and thought that it would be an interesting place to go and try.

The interior was interesting, it’s got a food truck / trailer park sort of hipster aesthetic. Completely built inside with no readily apparent real original elements to it, as it’s on the second level of the building so everything that was within would have had to fit up the stairwell or perhaps through the balcony by crane.
The interior style they had created within was well realised.

I ordered the ‘David Chang’ - “Premium Aussie beef patty, American cheddar cheese, streaky bacon, egg, tomato, butter lettuce, sliced beetroot, special burger sauce & America mustard on a toasted brioche bun” $18.50
Maybe it’s my own fault for ordering something with fairly inconsequential sorts of flavours.
But that said, something like the ‘Mighty Melbourne’ from Grill’d which contains “Grass-fed lean beef, tasty cheese, crispy trim bacon, free range egg, a couple of slices of beetroot with salad, relish & herbed mayo.” manages to make for a fresh tasting and enjoyable burger, for several dollars less than the Grand Taverna.

I ordered beer battered chips with the burger, and a pot of coke. The latter of which was served in a big jar / mug thing.

In short order, possibly 10-15 minutes my burger arrived. I didn’t take a photo of it, and am glad I didn’t because that time taken would have allowed even more of the heat to drift away from it.

The burger and indeed the chips were, optimistically, warm. Near the back of the burger it was slightly warmer than the rest of the burger.

There were no real dominant flavours in the burger. It was warm, filling but it was all a bit...bleh. The mustard and special burger sauce had no real defining flavours to it. The butter lettuce looked like it was regular iceberg lettuce from looking at it before biting into it, and somewhat browned on the end at that.
The most positive thing I could say is that it was filling.

The chips were good, well, good enough. They were well battered, nice flavour, they’d been cooked in clean oil. They were vaguely warm, though retained their crunch even as they shifted towards room temperature.

I’m sure people hipsters and people in their teens and early to mid-20s enjoy this place. Booths, big tables, high stools and benches to sit at. It’s got a retro American aesthetic to it that speaks to a certain style, it’s all very...well designed. Well constructed to a point. It’s the point that kinda got me looking around, knowing that aside from the kitchen the whole space had to have been constructed from scratch, making it a very fake space. Perhaps fake is the wrong word, it’s well ‘designed’ but it’s been quite constructed in order to get there.
Maybe that element doesn’t matter, I’m not sure.

But I think whatever the design aesthetics of the space the food should speak for itself, and, it was rich, but no defining flavours. Soft, but no real contrasting texture. I couldn’t really describe one specific element of the burger except maybe a hint of the American mustard. Not even the beetroot provided much contrast as it like the egg was swamped by the ‘special burger sauce’.

Solo dining and the Arbory

April 08, 2015

I am a solo diner when I’m in the Melbourne. I go and see things there solo and dine solo. I don’t find dining solo too intimidating although I will admit that I won’t wander into any place to eat because it is intimidating wandering through the front door and asking for a table for one.

Father’s Office at the QV is one place that I’ve found to be rather nice for an early solo diner, they’ve recently changed, or rather consolidated their menu from what I recall from the last time I dined there. Hopefully it hasn’t changed because it offered a nice place to dine and they had some tables against the window where you could look out of onto Little Lonsdale Street.

The Portland Hotel used to be somewhere I’d go because it offered quick service and pretty good food with an odd flare of Australian native meats in the city. I wouldn’t say it was fantastic for a solo diner, but there’s enough traffic in and out that it’s never really quiet enough to feel any impressions from being a solo diner. I say used to, last time I went there the Wallaby sausage roll was somewhat dry and flaky and served on what appeared to be a cheese board, and a small one at that.

Also the steak I ordered; the horseradish butter that came with it had a film of plastic around it. Obviously from it being in a log and them slicing off a wad of butter for my meal and forgetting to take off the plastic. It wasn’t enough for me to kick up a stink, but it’s enough for me to steer clear for a while.

Which brings me in a rambling for of way to to

Arbory, Flinders Walk Melbourne.

Arbory’s contact information page on their website just lists that. Its entrance is next to Elizabeth Walk up some very wide steps.

From their signage and their website one would assume that’s what their establishment is called, but their Twitter account gives their establishment the full title of ‘Arbory Bar & Eatery’ and looking at various article about it refer to it like this.

Looking into some articles written about Arbory have said that is is Melbourne’s longest bar. Which it’s not.

A bar is something you can stand or sit at and from where drinks are served from. I believe this title goes to The Trust bar on Flinders Lane.

I have seen one article call Arbory Melbourne’s longest eatery, which is much more accurate and goes along with its longer title of Arbory Bar & Eatery.

At 150 metres it’s quite a long space. None of it that I could see except the toilets, kitchen and bar are what would be called “inside”. It’s all outside covered by umbrellas and canopy gas heaters. Although I should note I didn’t walk the full 150 metre length of the Arbory, I got to the second bar and decided to turn around.

But to roll backwards a moment I visited the Arbory Bar & Eatery on Sunday 5th April 2015.

When I wandered in there was only one security guy on the entrance. Which is notable. Whenever I’ve had the urge to dine in Federation Square (usually because I’ve parked there) I have always been tempted to go to the Taxi Kitchen. But every time I consider approaching the amount of security they have on their door and they stand there like bouncers....I just get an attack of the nerves and think ‘nope, I can’t deal with this’ and usually end up at Beer Deluxe. He was also dressed in a blue shirt, not as the full suit that the bouncers...I mean security at Taxi Kitchen wear. It’s a minor thing and maybe it wasn’t even deliberate on Arbory’s side, but it was notable to me.

I had prior to actually walking up to Arbory checked out their menus so knew what I wanted before I got to the bar, but I checked the menu anyways.

Arbory Crinkle Cut Chips with Truffle Salt and Pecorino

I ordered the Rare Roasted Salmon, Fennel, Orange and Hazelnuts and also a side of Crinkle Cut Chips, Truffle Salt and Pecorino.

I didn’t get an alcoholic drink as while they did have cider it was about 5% and I am a fairly cheap drunk / have a fairly low tolerance for alcohol. I know where my limits sit and they’re fairly low.

I selected a bar stool over looking the river and next to a tree branch. The perfect space for a solo dining experience. A single seat and a tree branch next to me so there’s no personal space invasions by others.

I’m not really sure how long my meal took to come out. Not very long, enough for me to tweet a bit and check my email.

The Rare Roasted Salmon was fantastic, meltingly tender cooked and salad beside it was complementarily sized.

The Crinkle Cut chips were rather large sized.

The salmon wasn’t hot, it was warm enough.

This doesn’t worry me that much because the space is 150 metres long and the table number they give you is just the regular pole with number on it often used in cafés. But there’s two bars and I think the kitchen is in the middle.

I assume they must have a system of guessing where people have sat, but it still is marvellous that they found me at all, given I was hiding behind a tree branch.

I don’t have a picture of the salmon. I’ve never really got into taking pictures of my food, I prefer to eat it.

I did take a quick photo of the chips.

I didn’t as the website invites “Stay awhile”.

Rather I ate and left.

But I did enjoy my meal there, and will very likely return.

The views of the Yarra are unparalleled in Melbourne.

No where is that close to the Yarra River. No where in Melbourne is that close to the Yarra with a quiet stretch of pedestrian walk beside it either. A lot of the Southbank restaurants tout their closeness to the Yarra, but given the walkway beside it and the boats that moor beside it’s more like knowing the river is there than seeing it. Similarly east of Arbory on the other side of Princes Bridge there are few cafés at river level below Federation Square, but they are also perched on the side with an alfresco area and an indoor area rather than being one continuous space.

Arbory’s space is one continuous space, you can walk along the length, but you’re not going to be interrupted by passers by or pedestrians and the like.

Tonight I could look down at the river and had I been inclined probably could have thrown the ice from my drink into the river.

Which incidentally where some of the squarest ice cubes I’ve ever seen in a bar.

I will be returning to the Arbory because it was reasonably priced, was lovely for a solo diner and has amazing views of the Yarra. I’m also curious what it will be like there in the dead of winter.

Although, I never felt cold while I was dining while facing the river. The canopy gas heater (one of several) which was behind me kept my back warm throughout.

Because I was curious about Arbory I have done a little reading of a few articles about the building of Arbory, its launch and other behind the scenes things like that. Several articles about Arbory assert that the toilets, kitchen and bar are shipping containers.

Which is probably an ‘on trend’ thing to think.

But very probably wrong.

Firstly, think on Arbory’s location.

While I didn’t out a tape measure while I was there I did take a few geotagged photos so I can work out some distances based on it.

Where I sat is about 70 metres into Arbory and the first bar was within probably another 5 metres or so.

Why is this relevant?

Because there doesn’t appear to be any easy road access to Arbory and shipping containerswhen they’re taken to a site either as storage (usually secondhand) construction (secondhand or new) or specialist fit out (what Arbory might have had, but I don’t think it has) they’re dropped off the back of a tilt tray truck or a truck with a crane attached (also known as a Hiab Truck).

There isn’t any road access to that part of the Yarra / Flinders Street station by a truck large enough to carry a shipping container.

There is road access beside Princes Walk on the other side of Princes Bridge, but it is closer to Federation Square rather than at river level.

I think it would be

possible

to get a shipping container to that area of the river, but it’d need to be on a barge, floated up the river. But this would present additional issues. Mostly due to the height of the bridges along the Yarra which are not very high in places. But it could be floated from the rowing club or somewhere like that. Princes Bridge has enough clearance to the site.

But that would only introduce other issues. Such as how you’d get the container off the barge once it’s moored on the side of the river. You could put a crane truck on the barge and then use that to move the shipping container into the right position.

But I don’t think a barge would be stable enough to do that with a crane truck. As a shipping container is between 2,360 kg - 3,980 kg depending on if you have a 20 foot or 40 foot container.

Or alternatively Arbory’s builders built shipping container-like structures within the space they are leasing.

Which is what is appears to be the case when through Arbory's Twitter media timeline from when they first opened.

It’s just a little disappointing everyone seems to be jumping on the shipping container concept without thinking through the complexities of what would be involved with getting shipping containers there.

Pondering on all this did leave me with one other question and that was the question of supplies.

As I said there’s no road access to that part of the Yarra.

The closes is the other side of Princes Bridge or road level St Kilda Road next to Flinders Street Station.

The most direct though hardly the cheapest would be by river, but I doubt there’s any delivery companies that deliver by water.

But it does make me wonder how they bring in kegs of beer and the food and everything.

There’s no access from the station, well not for patrons, maybe there’s something in their lease about having access via the station for deliveries. But even then there’s little road access to that part of the station. Road access to Flinders Street Station is from along Banana Alley. I think there’s station access along there, that might get you near the end of the station’s edge. But that’d still be on the wrong level. The road access for the station is at rail height and sort of at station height. While Arbory is sort of at station / rail height.

Perhaps they just walk everything down from road height, or around Princes Bridge. This question has been vexing me a little bit, so I’ve emailed them which, I assume if I were to look back on it now in the slightly harder light of day compared to when I wrote it late at night will seem a bit rambling. Oh well.

Eureka Car Park review

March 30, 2015

Location:

70 City Road, Southgate (technically)

Entrance actually from Southgate Avenue

No one does reviews of car parks. I know my previous write up of two car parks was essentially for a larger vehicle and this is again more of my noted experience rather than a completely detailed review.

Because there was a cricket thing on at the MCG and having had previous experience with football things making it difficult to park at the Federation Square car park I decided to err on the side of caution and park elsewhere. I didn’t park in the QV which is often my alternative car park location because I was going to be going to the lower end of Elizabeth Street.

The car park I selected was the Eureka Car Park owned / run by Wilson Parking. Their website had a photo of the car park, which I’d also checked out on Google Street View and it listed the height, always something useful to know.

I discovered it was also significantly cheaper than Federation Square being $9.00 on a weekend.

It is a minor detour from CityLink and it also slightly further from the city, if you’re heading to Swanston Street or somewhere like that.

But compared to the $16.00 at Federation Square this is something of a saving.

One thing that it didn’t list, which admittedly would be hard to list on a website where you’re trying to provide good basic information to the potential customer and this was the drivability of the car park.

Basically I measure this by how easy it is for me to drive my Ford Ranger up / down the levels of the car park.

It was easier than QV car park because of the height of each level meant you could look over the top / around the parked cars to see cars approaching the choke point in the car park which is where the corners are. In the QV car park these corners are very blind and sometimes involve an S bend.

I didn’t go all the way to the top of the Eureka Car Park but I did get to level 5 which is where I parked. I did reverse into the spot with my tow bar basically touching the wall. My vehicle was in...well close enough in. The wheels were basically within the parking spot.

Things of note, there is a ramp immediately after the ticket machine entry. It’s steep. It covers at least one level, probably closer to two as the lift that deposits you on this level (which is the Southbank exit) is level 2. It’s probably as steep as the exit from Jeff’s Shed is. Thankfully you don’t need to stop at the top like you do there. But it is notable in its steepness.

The other notable thing is the lack of stairs. There are two lifts that service the car park and two potential floors to exit the car park. Level 2 deposits you on the same level (after walking down the ramp) that you entered the car park from. It leads to Southbank. The other the ground level leads to the Eureka Skydeck entrance. I left via the former.

Given its relative closeness to the city and the cheaper price compared to Federation Square I think it’s good as an alternative car park to Federation Square, especially when there’s some sort of sporting event on at one of the sports grounds that’s close to the Federation Square carp park.

Parking a big ute in Melbourne

March 26, 2015

According to the Victorian Planning Provisions 52.06-9 the length of a car park space is a minimum of 6.7 metres for parallel and 4.9 metres for 45º, 60º and 90º parking bays.

I have a four door Ford Ranger. It has a tow bar and a roo bar on it.

According to the Ford Ranger brochure it is 5531 mm long. This doesn’t include the roo or tow bars.

Before getting started here’s the lengths of other utes in a similar class as a four door Ford Ranger:

Mitsubishi Triton is 5389 mm long.
Holden Colorado is 5347 mm long.
Nissan Navara is 5296 mm long.
Volkswagen Amarok is 5254 mm long.
Isuzu D-Max is 5030 mm long.

Notably, none are as long as the Ford Ranger.

None of these utes’ brochures / websites seem to take into account the addition of a tow bar which many come standard with.

As roo and nudge bars are extra features none list these.

When I first began driving and more importantly parking my Ranger I discovered one very notable thing, which is probably obvious given the dimensions listed on this page so far.

If any car parks are built to absolute minimum regarding their degree-based parking bays there will be trouble because the bay is smaller than the vehicle.

This isn’t too much of a problem when you’re in the suburbs, there’s usually space to park away from everyone. At least I try to park away from the main thoroughfares of car parks so my Ranger is not poking out too much.

In almost all situations in parking bays I have found, and had to learn to reverse park, because I have found it to be quite difficult to get the Ranger into a space where it has some semblance of fitting. Because reversing in means I can get it right up to the line with the aid of sensors and reversing camera.

In Melbourne this becomes even more necessary. In the city you don’t have the luxury of being able to park away from where the busy bits are, in a parking structure there is no ‘quiet’ part in the city. Everyone’s looking for a parking spot.

I have found two locations where I’ve found that I can squeeze a little more space out of a location to fit my large vehicle.

Firstly the Federation Square car park.

Which at first glance doesn’t have any spaces that offer any more room than any other location.

It is easy to get to, if you’re coming from the south, south east or east. It’s accessible from CityLink via Batman Parade or if not the tollways then going along Wellington Parade and joining Flinders Street from the east.

Inside the parking structure there’s one or two things to note if you’re parking a larger vehicle. Due to the way that the Federation Square car park is constructed you can see there’s gaps between the support bars that hold the structure up. This allows you, if you’re reversing in to get your vehicle back a little further, or more to the point the tow bar back against the metal mesh. It gains you a couple of millimetres here.

Secondly, and this is more for other people, though also for yourself to keep your vehicle out of the way.

The way the Federation Square car park is laid out the ramps leading to each level are not right at the far side wall of the car park (as they are in some car parks). This means there’s about four parking spots on the east side of the car park which aren’t in the way of the car park traffic trying to go up or down the levels of the Federation Square car park. It’s here that I often try to park as they’re easier to reverse into (as it takes me a few goes to get it absolutely right) and here you’re out of the way even if while the wheels may be within the parking spot the car is not.

Federation Square spaces on east beside ramp

Federation Square spaces on east side near ramp/stairwell

Next up is the QV car park.

This is not as easy to get to.

It’s in the middle of Melbourne.

My preferred access is from Russell Street, just after the Lonsdale Street intersection.

It’s an entrance where you have to have some trust that they’ve designed it properly because the turning from the street level looks like a brick wall and you have to turn left into it. <Street View link>

Thankfully it’s actually a lot easier than the blind corner that it is would suggest. Just beware of pedestrians who ignore the fact they often do not have a green crossing signal.

Once inside and down the surprisingly steep ramp down into the car park don’t bother with the first level. Continue down to the second or even third level.

Here you need to find car park spaces along the furthest back wall, they’re thankfully numbered so I can say number 2253 or around abouts that.

These spaces have been drawn onto the floor, but there’s space, overhang behind it which is not counted within the space. This allows people with large vehicles to back (or even drive in forwards as there’s a surprising amount of room) and have your vehicle fit into the space with ease.

These are the only two car parks I’ve parked in with any regularity in Melbourne. As these two are basically perfectly located for a majority of things I might need to do in the CBD.

The other thing to note is height, which does determine from the outset which car parks you can even get into.

Here’s the dimensions for the above utes.

Ford Ranger: 1848 mm
Volkswagen Amarok: 1834 mm
Nissan Navara: 1795 mm
Holden Colorado: 1780 mm
Mitsubishi Triton: 1780 mm
Isuzu D-Max: 1735 mm

Ideally a height limit for a car park would be 2.0 metres. There are a lot of car parks in Melbourne that list their max height as 1.9 metres.

As that only leaves 52 mm, I prefer to find car parks with 2.0 metres, that at least gives me 152 mm. Still not a gigantic amount but it’s a little bit better, just in case there’s something rogue hanging down.

Not that this is likely to be an issue, but I used to drive a car that compared to the Ranger was significantly lower. I used to park that in the Victorian Arts Centre which lists their height restriction for their car park as 1.9 metres. That car park in particular feels a lot lower than 1.9 metres.

To wrap up now.

Federation Square’s pros is that it’s easier to get into if you’re coming from the south or east as it’s not within the CBD. Cons are that all the spaces are mostly the same size and any that allow over hang (as I mentioned for the QV) are positioned close to the lifts which means they’re always already taken. Another con is its position. It’s within walking distance of the MCG. This is a problem because it fills up quickly and overflow is in vacant land beside the car park. Not good if you want to park and know your vehicle is securely parked.

QV’s pros are there is overhang which means you can fit larger vehicles into the spots. Cons; it’s in the middle of the CBD, getting into it involves a seemingly narrow turn, exiting involves going up a steep incline (if you exit onto Little Lonsdale street), once within the turns to get down to the second and third levels are somewhat blind and narrow.

But as I said being able to fit my vehicle into the space is a significant plus.

Price wise both Federation Square’s car park’s prices and QV’s car park’s prices are listed on their websites. There’s about $2 difference between them, the only notable thing is that QV’s night rate begins an hour earlier than Federation Square’s.

Illy The Cinematic Tour - The Hi-Fi Melbourne 8 March 2014

March 11, 2014

I'm not exactly an avid live music attendee. There's a handful of artists that I like that are current and tour regularly enough for me to (potentially) go to a gig of theirs.

Even back in my teens there weren't a huge amount of live gigs that I went to, not compared to my peers who seemed to go to some every weekend.

In the past few years I've been to various Bliss n Eso and Hilltop Hoods tours gigs. They've been the only artists I've felt strongly enough about to attend.

They've been at Festival Hall and one at...I want to say the Atheneum, but a search has revealed it to me as the Palace Theatre, all I remember of that night is the queue going around the corner from the gig and wooden floors at the location. Plus maybe red leather.

This isn't because I was drinking or anything like that, just it wasn't something I thought about committing to memory so it's not in there.

Seeing Illy on Saturday night I felt something I'd not felt for a while at a gig. I don't really know what it was.

I could be vague and say a 'connection’, I’m slightly annoyed with myself at not being able to define it more so than that.

But it was....the crowd was very positive and while the crowd at Bliss n Eso's gigs have been enthusiastic and positive I have on occasion, not felt fear, but had my danger response perk up a little bit.

Maybe it's because Festival Hall is gigantic compared to the Hi-Fi.

There is something about a smaller venue, that makes it feel...different.

Festival Hall used to be where boxing matches were held.

While the Hi-Fi is two bars and two levels with a stage on the lower level. According to their website it was originally a Newsreel cinema in World War II. According to their site it’s recently been renovated (I’ve not been to the Hi-Fi before so can’t make a judgment on what it used to be).

It’s got a mezzanine level and a ballroom level, which is where the gig was held.

Looking at the photos on their site when the ballroom level is set up as a ballroom / function room it’s quite classy.

In the darkness and light of a gig it’s more intimate.

The renovations that have been still look fresh and nice. It’s not a venue where I felt at all tense in.

I've heard on various comedy podcasts that what makes for a good venue is a low ceiling and (something) stage, I don’t quite recall what sort of stage is good for a comedy gig. Probably not one too high up, but one that’s still elevated enough to separate the performer from the audience.

But the point I’m trying to get to is the Hi-Fi is well set up to make the performance good.

I wasn't right in the front of the crowd right in front of the stage, I was stood at the back behind the mixing desk. Which I used to do when I used to see a few live gigs here and there. This position usually affords a good view and something to lean against. Though on Saturday it just meant a good place to see the stage from.

Something I did find notable is that there was crowd surfing / moshing in the crowd.

This was also the first time at a hip hop gig that I felt the urge to want to participate with the audience, rather than just hanging back and passively watching. This is probably more of an insight into me than anything else, but it's not something I've felt moved, compelled or whatever to do in the past at any gigs I've been to this decade.

I've not done it in the past because I haven't felt involved, felt like I wanted to be involved, but at this gig I did, this one I felt the passion.

I wouldn't say I lack passion in my life. But seeing music I like I enjoy it, but...passion for the music I'm seeing hasn't been stirred in me for a while.

There was some not last time, but the time before that when I saw Bliss n Eso, mostly the stuff where they had a piano, in their Flying Colours tour.

Illy's show on Saturday night brought out a passion in me that I didn't thought was there.

I've not enjoyed a gig like this, in this way since the early 2000s.

Not just enjoyed it, but felt like I was part of the audience in this way rather than just being a member of the audience or just a person with a group of people together watching something.

Now onto the performance itself.

Illy had on stage with him Cam Bluff (DJ) and Ben Ellingworth (Drums). Ellingworth worked as hard as Illy throughout the night.

It was mostly all the songs from Illy’s Cinematic album, although there were a few songs from previous albums; ‘Diamonds ft Wren’ from

The Chase and ‘Heard It All’ from Bring it Back.

There were 3 final songs in the ‘encore’ portion of the show with the final being the titular song of the album. The show ended with a confetti canon.

During ‘Tightrope’ Illy was particularly energetic. A ball of energy bounding around the stage.

Throughout it Illy seemed to have some issues / annoyance with his ear piece, he had in in at the start of the songs and then pulled it out half way through or didn’t have it in and then slipped it back in as he began a song.

This was the first gig in a long while that made me feel younger than I was and more in touch with the artist. Which possibly could mean I’m now getting older.

It was I think telling that that there was a call out by Jackie Onassis to people born in the 80s, which got a small cheer and then a call out to people born in the 90s which got a much bigger cheer. Great way to make me feel old guys.

Melbourne Social Writers' Group - Dialogue Challenge

December 08, 2013

As mentioned in a previous post there's a social writers' group that I attend, this is the outcome of one of the writing challenges/games.

Parameters: Story had to start with the piece of dialogue “You did what?”, be made up of primarily dialogue and for extra challenge not use the word “said”.

In jotting down ideas to start writing this I wrote out a few key words / ideas to give myself something to start with these were; cake, politics, cane sugar, oven, import/export and genocide.

As I wrote I decided to try and make genocide funny. Not in a way that devalues it as a concept, but to try and bring humour to it without going down an expected path with the subject.

I think, taking a second look at it, it almost works. There’s a few bits here and there that don’t work and didn’t go in the way I was intending and as one of the people who attended you can see where I was going with it. It’s a little too much not subtle, but for 15 minutes work I don’t think it’s too bad.

--//

"You did what?"
"I don't think it's a big deal, it's not something amazingly complicated." She complained of the situation.
"You don't think this is a big deal, we're surrounded by cake and the UN is making the suggestion of rights violations." He exclaimed to the woman who was looking around the space with a mixture of annoyance and impatience.
"Who we should really be blaming is the cane sugar lobby, they're why we're here in the first place. We shouldn't be worried about a little bit of genocide." She mused.
Lyle watched the woman opposite him to see if she was joking. "There's nothing little about a bit of genocide!" She exclaimed.
Sarah shrugged. "It's not as though it's a big deal, this is something we've been working on for a while. The genocide is just an unintended consequence of these matters."
Lyle hoped she hadn't told the press that, he asked her as much.
"Of course not. YOU haven't prepared a press release, that's what you're always talking about, needing to keep the press informed." Sarah paused and smiled, flicking out a finger to one of the iced cakes beside her. "But if we do, we have plenty of cake to keep them satisfied."
"Yes, let's not talk about the messy subject of genocide." Lyle commented sarcastically.
"I thought we might lead with that, it's a boon for the economy that we've managed to do this when everyone else has failed." She argued. "I don't know why you're up set about this Lyle, I've done something, that's better than most of the politicians you've managed in the past."
"Yes." He paused. "Lead with that, not the genocide." He felt like he needed a drink. But the closest that was around in this space was some sugar cane left by the growers' federation.
"So, now I'm writing my press release, instead of you; my press officer, Lyle, what is the matter? It's like you've never wanted to commit genocide before. Think of all the possibilities if we managed to do this with other problems." She said looking around frowning. "This is the problem, they take all the chairs with them when they leave."
"You think that's the biggest problem, we're casually standing around surrounded by cakes talking about genocide."
"The great sugar cane grower’s federation bake off was the crowning achievement of the mass destruction that we achieved. "
"'Mass destruction', that's what you're calling it?" Lyle was almost hysterical.
"You sound distressed."
"I'm just trying to work out how to sell this to the press. Is there any alcohol in this kitchen?" He wondered, pausing to look around. "Hang on you said 'mass destruction'."
Sarah raised an eyebrow at him. "Yes."
"What about this genocide?"
"I thought genocide sounded better, punchier than 'mass destruction', that's rather clinical."
"But.” Lyle felt himself relax as the hysteria passed into annoyance. "Mass destruction is the code phrase for our cane toad eradication service." The rage was now building in his mind. "And you wanted to call it a genocide?!"

Bliss n Eso - House of Dreams Tour 2013

July 09, 2013

Festival Hall - 6th June 2013

The last time I saw Bliss n Eso at Festival Hall I had a seat in the Balcony area, though I didn’t manage to get a seat in that area this time around, which is a pity.
I think it’s one of the best places in Festival Hall; right in the middle a good view of the stage and in the centre of the speakers.
You also get a seat, which is a plus.
Of course, to be stood in the front of the stage with all the other people would be wondrous...or not.
I’m mostly in the or ‘not category’.

This time around I had a choice between the unlicensed area which was the Floor / standing area or the unlicensed area where there’s no alcohol to be served, though is all seated.
I’ve had a ticket and sat in the unlicensed area before because I didn’t want to drink and didn’t want to stand, but the angle and distance from the stage is not brilliant. Also being seated amongst the under-18s (and their parents) is not something I particularly enjoyed.

This time I was on the floor although where I was standing didn't afford more more of a view than if I had sat really with the unlicensed peoples.
I found a place, diagonal from stage left and pretty much remained there as I could lean against one of the barriers and could see the stage, more of less.

Pez's set was a good although the sound sounded like it needed balancing a little more, a lot of distortion in places that there shouldn’t have been.

Of the artists on the tour one whom I wasn’t there for was YelaWolf, I’m not a fan. Although his set was something of an experience, it didn’t make me a fan. The experience was of bass that was so very deep, long and low that it almost felt as though I could see the bass.
I can appreciate some things on a creative level, but YelaWolf’s timbre / formant had an edge to it that I found somewhat harsh.
While it wasn’t for me, the audience were particularly enthused by his performance.

Although, I'm not sure if it was warm enough in Festival Hall to require him to strip off his t-shirt half way through his set, with the doors 4 and 5 ajar letting the cold Melbourne night air into Festival Hall you could certainly feel the below 9 degree night air coming into the building.
Maybe that's why after 1-2 songs he put his shirt/vest back on.

Seeing Bliss n Eso is always a passioned experience by Bliss, Eso, DJ Izm and the audience, Saturday night was no different. A great mix of old songs and new songs, and as with previous shows good use of the big screen behind them for video and lyrical typography.
There were some of their new songs off of Circus in the Sky. I was (only a little bit) disappointed that they didn’t have any instruments on with them. In 2011 they had a piano on for a few songs and it made for an almost etherial experience through the intro and into the song. That was on their Running on Air tour and it can be seen on their live DVD.
Although with so many more instruments on Circus in the Sky it would be hard to choose which instrument/s to have along for the ride, but a flute or a violin or string quartet would have made it extra special. Although touring around the country with any of them would probably have made the tickets a bit more pricey than they were ($60).

Being on the floor did let me experience more people. One guy wearing a horse head mask. Which seemed great as an idea but was either or probably both hot and hard to see out of as he had it on for 20 seconds or so and then took it off.

The couple who were leaning against the barrier next to me, who were younger than I was 19-20, and were as enthused about YelaWolf as I was (not remotely), and also somewhat subdued about Bliss n Eso, watching but not really engaging in the whole arm waving sorta thing. Much the same as I wasn't either; my arms get tired. Also, where I and they were was far enough from the main crowd not to be caught in its enthusiasm.

Which does make it sound like I’m a bit of a downer. I enjoy their music and the live experience. I think that we all enjoy these experiences differently and as much as the crowd right in front of the stage has its appeal, to be within metres of the stage or water throwing distance (as YelaWolf did at the end of his set). Though this isn’t for me, getting up and sweaty with the crowd right in front of the stage is not how I want to enjoy myself at this sort of music gig, when I can just as much enjoy it from a moderate distance.

Royal Mail on Spencer

July 09, 2013

6th July 2013 - Dinner 7pm-ish

I rather like kangaroo, it's not something I cook often, as I am prone to messing it up, usually over cooking it or getting it a little too rare.
I order it when I go out as that's something for me, to order stuff I'm not good at or couldn't be arsed cooking at home. So unless it's a very nice sounding carbonara, herbed lamb rack or something chicken based I'm unlikely to order it as it's something I'm pretty capable of cooking up myself.

Kangaroo though is on a lot of menus, the other thing is salt and pepper calamari (more on that and 'trio of dips' another time). Often though kangaroo seems to be the alternative red meat, there’s steak and then there’s kangaroo. It’ll have a jus on it, because everyone likes a jus, it’s like a sauce, only minimal and stylish.

I’ve eaten at several places where they’ve done kangaroo...well enough. It’s not been messed up, but I’ve very rarely walked away going ‘wow that was an amazingly well prepared and cooked piece of meat’.

At the Royal Mail on Spencer on corner of Stanley and Spencer Street in West Melbourne I had a amazing piece of kangaroo, it was tender, amazingly so, flavoursome, while still maintaining its own flavour and well cooked.
Initially I thought it had been cooked sous vide, and then finished off on the grill it had such a wonderfully tender texture and flavour to it.
But I found out when paying that it gets marinated for a week, which would explain its tenderness. It was tender enough that I fancy I could have cut it with a butter knife and if pushed could have pulled it apart with a spoon and fork.
It was served with pickled beetroot, chickpea puree, kipfler potatoes and sour cream.

Earthy flavours are what goes well with kangaroo. Beetroot being one of those marvellously earthy and sweet vegetables it was present, pickled (making it take on a somewhat ‘tinned beetroot’ flavour). Personally I’d prefer it to have been boiled or baked, the segments would have been small enough when whole to have been boiled, retaining their sweet flavour.
The kipfler potatoes were searingly hot, well cooked and provided a nice about of heat to what was a somewhat cool assortment of items on the plate.
Chickpea is a flavour that goes well in small amounts in some places, with pork belly it helps to cut through the porky richness. But its spicy heat here, it does have the a familiar earthy sensation as the beetroot and potatoes do, but it seemed to challenge the kangaroo’s flavour a little too much rather than complement it.
The sour cream was actually a rescue on this front, with a touch of this with the chickpea and potatoes or beetroot helped to temper the chick pea’s flavour somewhat.

I also ordered, mostly out of curiosity the "crispy pigs ears" (prior to the kangaroo). I don't know what I was expecting. Pigs ears aren't exactly a go to ingredient. What I got was a bowl of thinly sliced pigs ears resembling pork crackling. The bowl, a "to share" item was rather big and lacking anything to dip or anything like that. I think these needed to be paired with something to make them somewhat more...fulfilling.
Maybe an apple salsa or maybe a salsa verde, something to add some greenery to it. Rather than what it was served with; a lime.

I had one drink with my meal, a 2 Brothers Gypsy Pear Cider.
One thing, I was sat down and handed the drinks and food menu and asked ‘would I like something to drink, a beer or wine?’. Okay, so I said ‘not for the moment I’ll have a look through the menu’, that thing I’ve had placed in front of me. The man seemed a little perturbed by this. Or perhaps you are meant to order a drink without looking at the menu?
The Gypsy Pear Cider was one of two ciders on their menus, the other was a Bulmers Apple Cider.
The Gypsy Pear Cider was good, fresh, not overly sweet as some pear ciders are.

The Royal Mail on Spencer is interesting in that it doesn’t really seem on the path to much, their site says “The Royal Mail on Spencer is a classic pub with a traditional bar 10 minutes from Southern Cross Station, Docklands and Telstra Dome.” Which is true, except Telstra Dome is now Etihad Stadium. It’s 1.28km from the stadium and around the same amount to Southern Cross Station. Although I do think that walking from the Royal Mail to the stadium/station would take 10 minutes (or so) the reverse wouldn’t as there’s something of a gradient change between the two which would slow you down.

The Royal Mail sits on the corner of Spencer Street and Stanley Street. Stanley Street is convenient for Festival Hall in that it has a lot of street parking, but is 2 blocks up from Dudley Street (which Festival Hall is on) / Rosslyn Street to which Festival Hall backs onto. Which means it’s far enough away so that you can easily enough get a parking spot on the street.
Also if you go further north up Adderley or Spencer Street the streets that cross them going east and west; Roden Street and Hawke Street also offer good opportunities for off street parking, and these are still closer to Festival Hall than if you parked in the Docklands.

Shot Expo Melbourne 2013

May 27, 2013

“The Shot Expo is Australia’s largest event for the Sports Shooting Industry and showcases shooting, hunting and outdoor trades to enthusiasts, those wishing to participate in the sport and the general public with the view of improving public awareness, professionalism and safety. It is held in Melbourne every two years.”

So describes the website for the Shot Expo, which I attended on Saturday 25th May 2013.

It was held at the Melbourne Show Grounds, at the same time as the Melbourne International Coffee Expo. Two expos that couldn’t be further apart, well, actually there could have been but not so further apart and still remaining neutral.

Rifles are heavy things. I don’t have a shooter’s licence, I don’t even really have any interest in attaining one. It’s something I’ve investigated in the past but not something I’ve ever seriously thought about getting. It’s something I think I’ve got the skills and learning ability to do but not something I really have a huge interest in getting.

But I do like learning and going to expos like this broadens my knowledge, and when do you actually have a chance to wander around and have a look at various weapons and pick them up, feel the weight and look down the scope of one of them?
Not often in Australia unless you know someone with a shooter’s licence and a gun or happen to live near a gun shop, and then I’m still not sure on the legalities of things.

Rifles are heavy. That’s something I learned on Saturday. They’re all tied down with steel cables or locked to their display stand. But there’s enough of a gap to lift them up to feel the weight, just about.
They’re surprisingly heavy. I understand that they would be, but actually picking one up and holding it was something of a revelation of the weight of these things.

There’s also a lot of choice.

This seems like an odd observation, from what I know of the US and their gun culture there would logically be a lot of choice, whenever footage from the US from within a gun shop (or camping shop or wherever else guns are sold, Walmart probably) is broadcast there always seems like there’s a lot of guns, but they’re either black or made out of wood and they all just seem to blend together visually into a black/brown morass.

But the Shot Expo was an expo, so the rifles were displayed by make, like a car expo. Or they’re displayed by the various shops/businesses that are selling these weapons.
This is possibly the only situation in Australia where everyone is so casual about firearms. This was an expo like any other expo be if cars, coffee or patchwork quilting. People going around checking out what’s on offer and being able to touch and see the merchandise.

Walking around the Shot Expo today it made me really glad that I live in Australia and we have the laws concerning weapons and firearms that we do.

Looking around there were a few interesting choices of business name present there that raised an eyebrow in me and amused me slightly. There was a stall for “Acme Firearms”, which is where I suppose you purchase your firearms for hunting roadrunners.
Also, “Potter Firearms”; ‘was that what Harry Potter did after leaving Hogwarts?’ I mused upon seeing the name.

It wasn’t just rifles display at the expo though, although these were the majority of firearms that were on display. These firearms you could pick up and feel and try the...whatever it is you try when you pick them up. I saw people checking the scope and maybe how it sat against their shoulders.
There were also handguns on display, these unlike the rifles were in cabinets. You could even have a look / hold of these, although with these, at least from the two interactions I saw required you to show your shooter’s licence.
Which from what I saw just looks like a driver’s licence with a brown-grey heading instead of the the blue on Victorian driver’s licences.

Rifles I understand why they had more of a presence. They’re the weapons for hunting and there’s many an animal that can be hunted in Australia. That’s understandable, we have many species both invasive and native that can be hunted in Australia.

But handguns, they’re something else. I understand these are used for target shooting, competition shooting and, I’m not sure what else.
Handguns are something that have a different meaning attached to them, just through their appearance in the media, American media both fictional and real is responsible for the different reading I have of handguns.
Seeing these weapons up close, I am glad that Australia has tighter gun control laws than the United States of America, I am not sure I would feel as comfortable as I do, as safe as I do if I knew that almost anyone could have one of these weapons in a holster.

Another thing I found odd, interesting and somewhat incongruous (although not, given where I was) was the banners / advertising for the firearms that were there. Something that, unless you subscribe to a shooter’s or hunter’s magazine is something that would not be seen.
There were banners describing the “warm feel of the high-grade walnut stock” and gear banners proclaiming “ “Walk Further, Climb Higher, Hunt Longer”.

There were other things taking place at the expo, a test for one thing that I saw whilst wandering around. Asking one of the guys who was standing watch about it he said it was a test to get a licence to hunt in national parks and other areas in New South Wales. It was an open book test. Saying that they wanted anyone taking the test to read the material. I have some concerns on this, as an open book test makes you scan and read for the relevant piece of information to answer the questions in the test. You can show you’ve read it but I’m not so sure about demonstrating understanding of it. Retention of information after an open book test is surely going to be lower than if you’ve studied for it. Maybe the information isn’t so complicated that you can retain the information from an open book test.

It wasn’t all weapons, there were ATVs, clothing and also taxidermy supplies; for when you’ve shot your deer or whatever and are then going to taxidermy it. There’s moulds for the inside of it, eyes, teeth and mouth bits for the inside.
I do have something of an interest in this, a lot of taxidermied animals I think look pretty marvellous, most birds, deer and dingoes all look good. I’ve seen a few taxidermied rabbits (not at the Shot Expo but at Wunderkammer a shop in Melbourne’s CBD) and I’ve yet to see one that really convinces me, rabbits seem to look a little under-stuffed or they were quite malnourished when they were killed.

Of everyone I saw at the expo everyone seemed calm, reasonable people, who were from what I could gather knowledgeable about what they were doing.
I only had one point of unease and that was whilst wandering around I saw one guy looking through the scope of a rifle, which was pointed vaguely in my direction. I knew that the firearm wasn’t loaded, none of the weapons on display at the expo could even be loaded (they all had things in place to prevent this).
But at that point I felt a little bit of unease, just a brief feeling of it, even though intellectually I knew that where I was I was completely safe.

I was safe, all the people I saw, both the people promoting their products and those attending the expo who were knowledgeable about the items they were looking at were mature responsible people.
I did feel uneasy about someone pointing a weapon in my direction, I’m not sure if you should ever be at east with a weapon being pointed at you.
It made me glad that the various state laws and the National Firearms Agreement (1996) exist. I think it’s good that the majority of firearms in Australia are used by primary producers, recreational shooters and hunters, and that ‘personal protection’ is not a reason to be able to own a firearm.

MICF - Joel Creasey - "The Drama Captain"

March 30, 2013

Thursday 28th March 2013

I saw two comedians on what I think was the first night of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival (MICF), so what I saw were the preview shows.

Joel Creasey was the second comedian I saw on this night.

I actually chatted to Joel Creasey’s publicist whilst waiting to go in, she even flyered me for one of the other acts that she’s a publicist for “Suns of Fred”, they did look interesting though having gotten home and looked them up...musical comedy acts don’t really do a lot for me.

I also mentioned that comedians’ podcasts are what really got me engaged in coming to the MICF this year, as mentioned below.

Anyways, Joel Creasey “The Drama Captain”.
One thing that I found a little distracting is Joel’s legs which were hairy, not a huge amount but, having seen his show last year “Naked” where he was at the end of it all twunky and wearing floaties. Seeing his legs at the start of this show was somewhat distracting.
But then he started to sing, so my thoughts were drawn elsewhere.
Mostly to my arse, but that was down to the cramped seating, I was in the second row and was regretting not sitting at the front or the back where I could stretch my legs out.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and bongs are two of the topics that I took away from Joel’s show.
There were quite a few references to bongs; bong smoking teachers and bong smoking boyfriends.

I thought Joel's show had a good construction to it, there was a connection between his stories and a sense that one story and narrative flowed into the other. Like his last show in fact which also had a neat concise narrative to it.

"The Drama Captain" aspect was only part of it though it was also about love, life and musical theatre.
Some of the references were lost on me, I am not a musical theatre sort of person and have not seen "Wicked" and therefore do not know the song/section about "defying gravity". For me "Defying Gravity" calls to mind a TV series that ran for a single series set aboard a spaceship, which devolved into a sort of alien in a box sort of thing very quickly, it had potential but went down the easy route of aliens a little too fast.

Back to Joel, I thought his show was pretty well polished and he's built on his previous show.

I enjoyed and laughed at Joel's show and I also came away from it wanting to know more of the characters that he painted throughout his stories. His ex-boyfriend (who despite him telling us his name it escapes me) except that he lives in Brunswick is good looking and smokes a lot of bongs and owns a fridge.
I was left wanting to know about the ex's hipster friends and how the bonfire night that Joel attended went.
I wanted to know more about the other drama students the 9 or 10 others who were with Joel in the bong smoking teacher-led drama class.
I wanted to know what the two badges were on his school jacket he pulled on at the end.

I will definitely go to future gigs of Joel Creasey because he's left me wanting for more.
His show didn't always make me laugh and I didn’t always get all the musical references but it didn’t matter because I thoroughly enjoyed his performance throughout.

MICF - Josh Thomas - “Douchebag”

March 30, 2013

Thursday 28th March 2013

I saw two comedians on what I think was the first night of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival (MICF), so what I saw were the preview shows. Josh Thomas was the first comedian I saw on this night.
The last time I saw Josh was in 2011 with his “Everything Ever” at the Melbourne Arts Centre. Which was a rather large venue, though he filled it and I think that time I saw it was the premier show as well.
I’m not sure what that means about a change of venue. Probably the Arts Centre has finished its renovations and it not charging a lot more, or that more people don’t want to have to cross the Yarra to go and see comedy. Even if it is just a step and a skip across the Yarra.

This was the Josh’s first show of the festival, the preview show, the first of 4 according to the MICF website.
Which was possible why there were two rows of chairs were left reserved in Josh’s show. I assume for journalists, who rather rudely arrived 10 minutes late kinda throwing a spanner into Josh’s narrative stride.

It was good, I laughed and listened in many places and even paused in thought at a few points.

There were a few points where I laughed and not many other people did, I don’t know what that says of my sense of humour, but I also laughed at inappropriate spots the last time I saw Josh’s show. So I dunno really.

I think, as Josh himself said, the show's title and theme may not be the best, as he said he had to select a title and idea in October last year and it seems to have been something of a spur of the moment sort of idea, that is “Douchebag”, or his attempts not to become one. I didn't really get a sense of this through his stories, not really. His narrative makes him human but nothing has really cascaded over into douchebag territory.

I could perhaps put down these minor issues to it being the first night of the MICF, but he’s done the same show in other states and I have the confidence in him that its basic structure should be down and ready.

One thing that did seem a little bit like padding for the show was the auction at the end. It does sort of tie into one of his stories in his show, but...
Maybe I’m being a little cold hearted, but I just didn’t really feel it (plus I don’t like pineapple in a cake).
It just seemed like an odd way to end the evening with an auction and it didn’t really engage me, at the end of a comedy gig when the jokes and the comedian is done, I’m ready to leave. I just felt a little trapped and uncomfortable there, as Josh wasn’t really providing entertainment, mostly it seemed a little like guilt tripping and padding.

I enjoyed Josh’s show, though not as much as I did his 2011 show. However the Lower Town Hall is a much more intimate space so I felt like I was actually seeing a comedian rather than being somewhat removed with him being on a high stage (though I will see what it’s like seeing Wil Anderson in a week or so at the Princess Theatre). I would still recommend Josh Thomas’ MICF show to people as it was funny and his brand of humour isn’t something that’s around a lot.
Just, narratively it seemed a little bit more disconnected than I was expecting.

Melbourne International Comedy Festival and Podcasts

March 30, 2013

I’m seeing several Melbourne International Comedy Festival (MICF) shows this year. I’ve bought tickets to 14 shows so far and have another 3 or so that I’d like to go to based on being flyered to when I was in the city for the first two shows I saw on the 28th March. See above for my, I don’t really want to call them reviews because, well reviews carry weight and I don't want to be unfavourable. So they're commentaries, the impressions they left, a skimming of analysis.

Listening to podcasts has been a major contributor to me seeing various comedians and going to podcast recordings this year, in previous years I've seen a few people but never the amount that I’m seeing this year.

It’s thanks primarily to podcasts like TOFOP/FOFOP, Can You Take This Photo Please, The Little Dum Dum Club, I Love Green Guide Letters, The Shelf, Slapbang Radio and Something for the Drive Home that have made me want to see more comedy.

I also have a better appreciation for what work goes into producing a show and the work that it takes to promote it and other things like that.

For example I would not be as interested in Tommy Dassalo's Spread, which I first heard him talking about on The Little Dum Dum Club podcast that he does with Karl Chandler, when he first mentioned it I thought it sounded fascinating and funny and as a result was a show that I made sure to be on the top of my list of shows to book.

Justin Hamilton’s Can You Take This Photo Please podcast has also really enlightened me on the process of creating a comedy festival show and all the issues that are associated with it. It’s also given me a new perspective on the people handing out flyers (or flyering, which my word processor is insisting isn’t a word). As a result I am much more aware of the people flyering when I'm walking along the street past the Melbourne Town Hall. I’ve taken the time to read their flyers think about it and sometimes hand it back and say why I wouldn’t go.

Some of the MICF shows I’m seeing this year, are as a result of my podcast listening podcast recordings, something I regret not going to last year (and subsequently missing out on the SuperPod recording of TOFOP). Though I missed it to get my dad along to see A Modern Deception (magic and comedy), which was worth it to get him into the CBD at night and have a night out of fun and magically appearing bowling balls.

This year I’ve decided to go to a I Love Green Guide Letters podcast recording, 2 out of the 3 The Little Dum Dum Club podcast recordings and both of the Splendid Chaps podcast recordings. The latter I’ve already attended 2 recordings of. It’s a Doctor Who podcast which they’re doing throughout the year and I only missed the third because it was in Adelaide.

So I definitely think these free podcasts that comedians put out has made me want to go out and see more comedy and it’s also made me appreciate comedy a lot more.