V Pure mark 2 review

New bottle & label design

Recently I bought a bottle of V Pure and noticed they'd changed the design of the bottle. 

Upon tasting it, I realised that's not all they've changed.

This is V Pure mark 2, a new version of V Pure, originally released in mid-late September 2017 (see my review of that here).

It's in a different-sized bottle to the others in the range at 330 ml. 

Flavour wise, it's sweeter than the original V Pure, but not as sweet as V original. 

V Pure mark 2 nutritional information

Looking at the nutritional information of V Pure mark 2 per 100 ml:

  • Sugar 7.9g per 100ml

  • Caffeine 31mg per 100ml

  • Guarana Extract 160mg per 100ml

Which is similar to V Pure mark 1:

  • Sugar 6.4g per 100ml

  • Caffeine 31mg per 100ml

  • Guarana Extract 241mg per 100ml

The difference being the amount of guarana extract which has dropped, while the sugar has risen. 

With V Pure Mark 2, the ingredients list has also increased to 6 ingredients (V Pure Mark 1 had 5 ingredients). 

Ingredients: Apple Juice, Sparkling Water, Lemon Juice, Guarana Seed Extract, Caffeine From Green Coffee Beans, Natural V Flavour.

V Pure mark 2 bottle back - ingredients

The new ingredient over the mark 1 is the "Caffeine From Green Coffee Beans". 

I do wonder if caffeine as a separate ingredient was added to drop the amount of guarana needed in the V Pure Mark 1, in order to get a similar effect. As I would think the guarana would be the priciest portion of the drink's ingredients. 

The bottle is different on the mark 2. The mark 1 bottle was a glass bottle with white stickers on the front / back. The mark 2 bottle is a glass bottle with a plastic wrap around label. It includes a line down one side with makes it easier to rip off. I'm not sure if this would enable better recycling than the paper labels of mark 1. But it means that the label and bottle are much easier to separate. Although I wonder of the recyclability of the plastic label / wrap.

I'd probably buy V Pure mark 2 again. If it was sold in cans in the 275ml configuration in the supermarket then I would definitely. But at the moment it seems V Pure Mark 2 is confined to convenience shops and petrol stations.  

Melbourne Leisurefest 2019

3rd October 2019

View from Public Entrance 3

In the past, travelling to Sandown Racecourse I've found it easier to approach from the Springvale Road end, but this time approached from the Corrigan Road side of the racecourse, which was a lot easier than negotiating Springvale Road.

Parking at the Leisurefest is free. Which is better than the 4x4 Expo at the Showgrounds where you were charged for parking at Flemington. 

I am, in general interested in this sort of outdoors. off roading sort of stuff. While I am more of the road tripping sort, than getting really off road and into the wilderness, I have on occasion gotten out there, and on those occasions a swag has done for me.

I am not all that interested in caravans from a purchasing point of view. I still find it all interesting from just seeing and learning.

The off road caravans more so than the traditional white box-style caravans. 

Road leading to the general caravan area, this is about as far as I walked.

With this in mind I did not explore much of the Winnebago / Jayco area of the Leisurefest, I looked in its general direct, got as far as the ARB pavilion and then went to get something to eat. It was quite a sea of white-topped caravans with air-con units and nothing really exciting. 

If you want a go most places off-road caravan, and have somewhere around the $55,000-$90,000 to spend there's plenty.

Families wise at around $90,000 you can fit three kids and two adults into a relatively well-sized caravan. It's actually kinda impressive that you can fit that much into the space, along with toilet, shower and a relatively well sized kitchen, plus a washing machine. Often the washing machine is hidden in the bathroom but I saw one or two where it's hidden in the kitchen. 

Differences in price between these caravans seems to trade quality of materials for price, and some size of appliances. 

For example in the Lagoon Caravans - Pasadena at the show for sale at $55,990, running my hand along the bench where the sink was, I could feel a little bit of unevenness on the bench top. 

Looking at others it seemed some plumb for a full sized oven, while others have a half to a quarter sized oven, so you might not be roasting a whole chicken in them, or if you are it's only the chicken and nothing else.

The Royal Flair caravans certainly had a more luxury feel to the inside of their bathrooms, a slightly nicer laminex than other caravans, wood-effect flooring, and in one of the caravans I looked in, which at first I thought didn't have a bed, the bed is actually raised above the dining area and then is raised/lowered on rails down. It's a nice way of cramming more in, but I'm not sure of its day-to-day practicality. I guess it depends what you want from the sleeping/living arrangements.

With most others which might be smaller, your partner could stay in bed while you get up, start on breakfast etc.

Inside the Melbourne Crusader Lifechanger "Connection" 19 Series

Inside most of the caravans I saw had bench seating mostly around a centre table that could be removed/lowered to make more bedding, but one the Melbourne Crusader Lifechanger "Connection" 19 Series had two swivel chairs, which was a refreshing change from all of the bench seating. I'm not sure how they cope with rough roads, but it's certainly a nicer piece of luxury than a bench seat.

What might be a new category in recent years I saw was the 'WRAP' caravan or the 'Toy Hauler'. This in some styles a compromised design and in others considerately thought out. These are caravans which have space inside to park your dirt bike, in the case of the Elite Caravans WRAP (Work Rest And Play) it's in a separated off part of the caravan, while in the Toy Hauler it is stored within the caravan. The trailblazers rv Toy Hauler however has two bunk beds in the space as well, so presumedly you store the dirt bike outside when you're sleeping, while with the WRAP it can be stored inside.

If I was going to buy something to tow it would be a camper trailer, as I think that offers the best compromise between having somewhere secure to sleep and being able to go anywhere. 

I quite like the Tvan camper trailers, the one I had a good look around at the Track Trailer area at the Leisurefest is not cheap at $79,680. Based on some of the other caravans I saw wandering around that seems like a lot of money for a very small amount of camper trailer. 

It is very solidly built, and looks like it would go absolutely anywhere and survive getting there. I feel like this is the sort of camper trailer you buy when you've lifted your 4x4 and upgraded the suspension and things like that.

Track Trailer Mate

Also for sale from Track Trailer was the Mate, a trailer with an interesting and compact design. It's a pretty low trailer with a pop-up tent on top. But the benefits are that it's significantly lighter than the Tvan about 500kg lighter.

There was one teardrop caravan on show. It's a very cute, cool design. I think this would be great as a classic car / small car road tripping caravan. It's 550kg, so most small vehicles that can tow should be able to tow this, it's very cool looking. But you'll be making a few (okay a lot) of compromises. There's no where to sit, no where to shower and no toilet, so look forward to caravan parks, and no going anywhere beyond a dirt road as this doesn't have the ground clearance. 

Another interesting design was Aussie Campers Simpson X at $17,990. Interesting as like the Track Trailer Mate the sleeping area as above the camper trailer, reached by a ladder. Looking around this one, there was something I didn't really like about it. It's a very functional design, very practical, but all of that caged area was a little...I dunno. It's a very practically designed trailer, but not much on the aesthetics. 

The Lumberjack Camper Trailers area I sort of came across by accident. 

It has a certainly intriguing camper trailer in the Sheoak. 

This camper trailer is about the closest I've seen to something I would actually consider buying. 

It's got a fully enclosed queen-sized mattress and a small kitchen at the back of the camper trailer. 

It's also not incredibly expensive coming in at $21,999.

It doesn't have the big slide out kitchen of the Tvan, nor the fridge or any of the other fancy bits and pieces which that has. In fact in comparison to the Tvan trailers it's quite sparse.

Lumberjack Sheoak

But the sleeping area is completely contained, which unlike the Tvan which is open at the end is a positive. 

It's a positive in my eyes at least, as sleeping out in the great outdoors, especially off the beaten track, having a solid something in between me and said outdoors would be a great thing.

Like all these sorts of shows there's an inside area with people from various tourism groups along with tat merchants that seem to flock to these sorts of shows to flog whatever it is that might be vaguely related to the subject of outdoors. Some things like one flogging double glazing I'm not sure how they're related to caravanning and the outdoors. 

Finally I also noticed a lot of tags hanging around in the inside of caravans, often the more expensive ones for financing your caravan. A lot of them seemed to be 30%-40% deposit and then a pay offs on a per-week statement of around $150-$250. The ones from Stratton Finance and NLF were at 6.99% p.a. over 84 months (7 years). I don't know why they listed it in months instead of years, maybe 84 months doesn't sound as intimidating a figure as 7 years.

Masters - Timeline of a Failed Hardware Endeavour

Masters Home Improvement (or just Masters) was Woolworths Group Limited’s attempt to grab some of the hardware retail space in Australia away from market leader Bunnings (owned by Wesfarmers).

I have long hoped for a book that details the specifics of how Masters so supremely failed to read the market, but a quick search of book sellers’ sites reveals none presently written. So I thought I'd try a ham-fisted attempt to at least collate much of the past news reports and associated annual reports etc about the failure of the business into a timeline and summary. 

2009 

Masters began as something called 'Project Oxygen', supposedly because their new venture was going to steal the oxygen from the other hardware players in the market. The earliest reference to 'oxygen' regarding Woolworths is in their 2009 annual report, under the list of subsidiaries there is 'Oxygen Nominees Pty Ltd'. 

The first mention of hardware from Woolworths is a press release dated 25th August 2009 under 'Strategic rationale' which I would take to be the 'why are we doing this' they cite:

The existing category for home improvement in Australia is under-serviced and Woolworths believes there is a genuine opportunity to bring competition and grow the sector with an enhanced offer.  

This is in fact the only real statement about hardware, the rest is mostly fluff about growing the sector and category expansion, it's a lot of nothing that seems to be saying 'we want to grab a bit of the Bunnings pie'. Included in this section are several quotes from Chief Executive Michael Luscombe including:

“The Australian love of property and high levels of home ownership mean that maintaining and improving homes is an important part of everyday life." 

Then seems to both speak to the American partnership with Lowe's in the language used, and is also the closest he comes to mentioning Bunnings:

"We’re interested in adding choice to the industry and we believe we can improve the pricing, product range and experience for customers. At the moment, the sector is dominated by one major big box player, so there is a real opportunity for increased competition in that part of the sector."

There isn't much in their annual report for 2009 beyond what is in their press release, aside from their recommended purchase of Danks (a hardware wholesaler) and several mentions of the $42 billion hardware and home improvement sector. This is a figure that will get thrown around a lot by Woolworths.

However prior to the press release being released to the media, Woolworths was already scouting for locations for their (then) unnamed stores. Including a site on McIvor Road in Strathdale (a suburb of Bendigo). In June 2009 Grant O'Brien who was the person who was originally in charge of Masters, and then became CEO of Woolworths in 2015, along with him was Woolworth's senior development manager, Tim Macmillan, and head of property Richard Champion. [Source: SMH - Bendigo 2009] A lease was signed for this location, however the situation between the landlord and Woolworths turned sour and five years later Woolworths were taken to the Supreme Court and ordered to pay $10.9 million. [Source: ABC - Bendigo 2016], [Source: SMH - 2015 Dumped Deal]

Grant O'Brien ended up leaving the company in 2015 shortly after this payout. [Source: ABC - Woolworth Chief departs 2015]

Looking back on this 'first year' of Project Oxygen/Masters and trying to chart where the interest in the hardware market might have come from for Woolworths, it might be from Danks. As according to a Sydney Morning Herald article in August 2009 Michael Luscombe had a close friend who had worked at Danks for decades. 

2010

In 2010, there wasn't a lot of interesting news concerning Masters, or more likely it was still 'Oxygen' at this point. Woolworths' annual report doesn't mention Masters although it doesn't mention 'Oxygen' in a project sense either. The 2010 annual report does mention that Woolworths have completed their acquisition of "Danks Holdings Limited, Australia’s second largest hardware distributor, supplying 581 Home Timber & Hardware, Thrifty-Link Hardware and Plants Plus Garden Centre stores and over 900 independent hardware stores.", this acquisition was completed late in 2009 (11th November 2009).

Beyond this, I assume that Woolworths were acquiring land and building locations for the Masters stores, as I've not found very much information regarding Woolworths' explorations into hardware in 2010.

2011

In an AFR article dated 2 May 2011 it states that "The Masters chain will compete not only with market leader Bunnings and Metcash’s Mitre 10 but a range of homewares, appliance and specialist retailers such as Harvey Norman, The Good Guys, Reece, Tradelink and Ikea." This article is perhaps one of the better articles because it's written before the first Masters store opened in Braybrook, Victoria on 31st August 2011. It contains a lot of predictions about what Masters will do to the hardware retail space and how it will affect the market. A lot of the things promised such as high stock levels and higher levels of service from staff never really were achieved, or if they were it was only in the initial opening period and then very quickly went down hill.

In Woolworths' annual report for 2011 the Managing Director and Chief Executive Officer Michael Luscombe predicts that "Masters will roll out between 15 and 20 stores a year". 

Interestingly under 'Outlook' the amount the hardware and home improvement figure has dropped $2 billion to become $40 billion in only 2 years from their last pronouncement of this figure.

"As Woolworths plans for future growth, through expansion into the circa $40 billion home improvement market, we anticipate start-up costs for Masters of up to $100 million (net of Danks operating profit and before tax and minority interest), which will impact our overall earnings in FY12. The amount of these start up costs is dependent upon a range of factors, particularly the pace of our new store."

2012

In just Master's second year of operation there was already an article talking about its layout and marketing demographic. 

A Smart Company article from September 2012 cited a report from Madison Cross (a retail consultancy company) that Masters was "using a model that is suited towards female buyers, giving off a 'premium' vibe with polished [concrete] floors and bright lights. But they point out women aren’t usually the ones who make purchases in hardware stores."

This article also states that "the construction of the stores, with their bright lights and air-conditioned atmospheres, differ wildly from a store like Bunnings, which is more suited to tradesmen and people who are used to its simple, low-gloss atmosphere."

In a comment on a reddit thread from 2015 a user who said they worked at Masters seemed to also support this idea mentioning that managers of Masters would never refer to the Masters stores as "hardware stores" they were "DIY stores" – they were selling DIY ready to go, and were trying to cater to those who didn't like the current "hardware stores".

These observations are some that will be observed and repeated throughout Masters' short time in the retail space. That, for want of a better term the 'vibe' of Masters was wildly different from Bunnings.

They were, very different experiences, walking into a Masters vs Bunnings, and it wasn't just the weird vest things that the Masters staff wore. Masters had an Ikea-esque layout with separate entrance and exit doors with the former being an airlock style entrance with a vestibule area before entering the building proper. Masters also had quite uneven lighting, there was a lot of bright lighting, but that led to some portions of the stores being...not gloomy, but certainly having pronounced shadows. The flooring looked like it had never had anything hardware near it. 

Again it's a return to Woolworths' annual report for 2012 to garner some information about what happened. Perhaps the most interesting thing in the annual report is again from the 'Capital Improvement and Outlook' section "Planning to secure 150 Masters sites in five years (from announcement of JV). Plan to open 15-20 Masters stores per annum with approximately 100 stores opened by the end of 2016". This prediction is interesting simply because by the end of 2016 Woolworths was looking to get rid of Masters.

In other hardware circles Metcash completed its 100% purchase of Mitre 10 in June 2012. [Source: ABC News - Metcash completes Mitre 10] Metcash is also the supplier for IGA, which means at this point there are essentially 3 hardware chains; Bunnings, Mitre 10 and Masters being owned/supplied by the largest supermarket chains Coles (Bunnings), Metcash [IGA suppliers] (Mitre 10), Masters (Woolworths).

2013

In 2013, according to Roy Morgan research in the September quarter Bunnings had 84.2 million purchases in the past 12 months, with Mitre 10 14.6 million and Masters not quite half that at 6.6 million.

According to the article "Around two-thirds of Bunnings’ customers visited (and bought) from the store four or more times during the year—including around 1 in 5 who made at least 13 separate shopping trips." Masters wasn't as good "around two-thirds of Masters’ customers only go once, twice or three times annually, for an average of around 3.5 visits per customer," however it did report that this figure was "up from under three per customer in 2012."

So, in 2013 things should have been looking up for Masters?

Well, no. 

Supposedly they "didn’t know a lot about this business when we set the budget for financial 2013," CEO Melinda Smith said in July 2013. "We didn’t know a lot about the seasonal curves," she added. "We didn’t have the right stock in some instances." [Source: SMH - 2013 Woolworths failed to understand]

This statement comes up cited in a few places, which I find pretty amazing. Woolworths might not have something like Coles' Flybuys card to grab data from, but they have their own 'Woolworths Rewards' card which should have given them some data, along with just regular purchasing data. Some of that should have helped them figure out that there are seasonal curves, while it might be for their supermarket chain, some of it should have transferred to their attempt at hardware. Even sending some of their team to a Bunnings / Mitre 10 throughout the year prior to opening up Masters should have yielded some data for them. 

Smith is quoted later in the article that having Lowe's as a joint venture partner was helpful, but "when it's Christmas time over there it's also winter, our Christmas time lines up with Spring and Fathers Day so its quite a different seasonal curve." 

Again...I can't help but wonder how no one picked up on this, that of course, the seasons are different between Australia and the United States of America. We're in different hemispheres. This seems like really simple stuff if you're getting into a joint partnership with a company that operates in a different seasonal and retail environment to Australia that you might need to think about this stuff.

Later in this article it cites that Masters for "2012-13 [will have] a loss of $119 million but that should now blow out to a pre-tax loss of $157 million" and "Woolworths is still forecasting that Masters will break even during financial 2016, assuming more moderate growth in sales per store and improvements in gross margins.".

Later in the year in October 2013 it was reported that 'Infinity Cable' a Chinese-made electrical cable which did not meet Australian standards had been sold. Electrical Safety Office boss Brian Richardson says in the article that he believed it was mainly sold in Masters.

A year later in 2014 it was reported that Masters was "asking victims of the $80 million Infinity Cable scandal to sign away rights as a condition of removing potentially deadly wiring sold by the hardware chain."

Additionally in 2013 Dulux pulled its premium brand products which included the Dulux and Cabot brands from Masters, returning to Bunnings. [Source: SMH - Dulux denies retail price war in the cheap paint]

To round off research into this year I returned to Woolworths' own annual report for 2013. They opened 16 Masters (and 34 supermarkets in Australia, six BIG W stores, 16 Dan Murphy stores and a net additional 14 BWS stores) however the number of Masters is only one above the lowest cited in the previous year which was 15-20 per annum.

Masters Mornington October 2013, note the hand-written signs lining the entrance driveway

There's lots of promises of Masters being a "long term profit contributor to the group", and the oft-quoted $42 billion in hardware and home improvement sector figure is back up at $42 billion. 

The report notes that Masters were the first hardware chain to launch online and mobile shopping, and that customers could check availability of stock online. 

This is something I remember thinking was useful, especially as it's something that Bunnings didn't launch until several years later. 

Page 35 of the report gives this forecast (bold my emphasis):

"Home Improvement losses before interest and tax of $138.9 million were more than initially anticipated mainly due to optimistic sales budgets for Masters and Danks, relatively higher wage costs for new store openings, and lower gross margins due to the Masters’ sales mix and the highly competitive trade segment in which Danks operates. Masters’ losses per store have declined...Based on our planned store rollout profile and current forecasts (targeting approximately 90 stores opened by the end of FY16), we expect Masters to break even during FY16...Given the greenfields nature of the Masters business, short term results will continue to vary. However, we expect the losses for FY14 not to exceed this year’s level."


2014

In early 2014 Marketing Magazine was spruiking Masters' new website and mobile-focused website and platform. 

August 2014 the Herald Sun reported that Masters had "bled $169 million over the financial year — 22 per cent more than the previous year" and $12 million more than forecast the previous year.

In an AFR article also from August Woolworths chief executive Grant O’Brien a vehement defender of the Masters home improvement strategy "revealed that the Masters big-box stores had lost $176 million in 2014 – $20 million more than in 2013 – taking losses in the last three years to almost $450 million."

Also stated in this AFR article:

"Woolworths has tried to differentiate Masters from Bunnings by adding low-margin whitegoods and home decor products, making the stores lighter and brighter to appeal to women, and stocking a large number of private label brands sourced through its US joint venture partner Lowe’s. However, the “squeaky clean" Masters stores have deterred trade customers and have failed to resonate with DIYers and home renovators."

Shiny floors in Masters Mornington - May 2013

Which seems like another failure of Woolworths and Masters to read the market and understand who it was that they wanted at their stories and who they were appealing to.

That tradies, Bunnings' biggest market didn't want squeaky clean floors and whitegoods when they were shopping.

I recall whenever I went into Masters' stores I always heard my shoes squeak on their floors, admittedly I was wearing sneakers, but their stores did not have the well trodden concrete floors of Bunnings, looking at the handful of photos I have from within a Masters store there seems to be a large amount of reflection on the concrete there. 

Woolworths' annual report for 2014 doesn't yield anything interesting. The most notable part stating:

"Sales were lower than expected and were impacted by a highly competitive market and lower consumer confidence. Losses before interest and tax were higher than anticipated."


2015

One of my favourite facts regarding Masters reflects on the management-heavy culture at the retailer and that it was the written policy of "tail to the curb" parking for staff – meaning that staff have to reverse their cars into the car parks. I had enjoyed knowing this fact, as it seemed to wrap up the Masters culture. But reading into it, it comes from this article and it's cited as being from retail analyst Rob Lake.

According to this post on reddit in 2015 from someone who worked at Masters there was never this requirement. 

Toilet seat range - Masters Mornington August 2014

According to this same post, stock control seemed to have been one of the larger problems for Masters, somewhat ironic considering in their initial press release in 2009 they were leveraging their stock management as Woolworths and their purchase of Danks as a distinct advantage. Perhaps related to their stock control issues was the departure of Julie Coates in 2014, she left Woolworths after only 10 months, she had been director of business transformation and was leading a "10-year task of transforming the company’s entire supply chain and logistics operation." [Source: SMH - 2014 Woolworths logistics]

On stock however, one of the things that seemed to pull Masters down was its ties to its American partner Lowe's, the oft cited 'gun cabinets for Australians' seems to have the most detail in this AFR article from 2015 which specifies at an "inner Melbourne [Masters], consumers can buy a gun safe. It holds five rifles and has a locked box for ammo." The article points out that Bunnings also sells gun safes, but in regional/rural areas, where there is more likely to be customers for such an item.

Masters Mornington - Inside whitegoods area - February 2013

The same article mentions that you could purchase various whitegoods such as fridges, washing machines, vacuum cleaners at Masters, which further diluted the 'hardware' offering of the shop and alienated tradies from the store. I can attest to the huge range of whitegoods, it was one of the reasons I went to Masters in 2013 as the small amount of photos I have of my local Masters attests. I went there because they had a large range of large capacity washing machines. I didn't end up purchasing then as life things got in the way, and when I did end up needing a new washing machine and dryer, I went to The Good Guys. Another article claims that Masters' 'squeaky clean' appearance made people think they were more expensive. That Bunnings' big, slightly dusty appearance makes people think it's cheap. That Bunnings uses their staff in their adverts vs Masters which used actors, again made Bunnings seem more believable because they are cheap and cheerful. [Source: News.com.au - Masters vs Bunnings]

In early 2015 (February) Woolworths was showing some signs of needing to 'pause and rethink' as "deferred the previously advised construction start date of 2016", so a spokeswoman was quoted in the Daily Liberal regarding the proposed construction of a store in Dubbo. It was never built, and looking at Cobra Street in Dubbo, New South Wales there doesn't appear to be many locations it could have gone, like many locations where a Masters was built it's likely it would have sat opposite or just down the road from an already existing Bunnings. 

In May 2015 the AFR reported that analysts thought that Masters wouldn't turn a profit until 2019. And that $3 billion had already been ploughed into Masters at that point. 

$3 billion, chasing the $40-$42 billion hardware market, I guess would have been a good outcome, if they'd managed to pull it off.

Unfortunately according to one news site it estimates that Woolworths was loosing $75,000 a week on Masters. [Source: News.com.au - Masters screw up]

In June 2015, Woolworths' CEO Grant O'Brien left the company, raising the share price, but was likely one of the nails in Masters' coffin. [Source: ABC - Chief Executive departs]

In August 2015 it was reported that Masters' improved store layout raised their sales by 30 per cent. These 'improved layout' stores were barely 3 years old. According to analysts cited in the article the improvement would need to be 50 to 100 per cent to get Masters to break even.

Woolworth's 2015 annual report for this year cites that same 30% increase in sales, but also states that "Masters loss before interest and tax increased by 39.5% to $245.6m".

2016

2016 was the year when Woolworths announced that the Masters experiment was coming to an end. This was ironically the year according to their annual report in 2013 that they expected to break even.

Masters Mornington - Going Out Of Business - October 2016

Woolworths announced on 18th January 2016 that they would be exiting the home improvement business. Their media release states that it would take several months to wind operations up, and that to speed up the process they would be exercising their option to purchase 33.3% of the business held by Lowe's in the US.

Ten days later things didn't improve for Woolworths / Masters with the ABC reporting that the company would have to pay out $10.5 million for lease disagreements and loss of revenue relating to a site they had looked at in 2009 in Strathdale. [Source: ABC - Bendigo developer payout] 

In March 2016 Woolworths began the sell off of Masters, supposedly codenamed "Project Miami", there's few sources I could find for this codename. It appears there that there was an email exchange published in The Australian in September 2016 (a PDF version here).

The Masters sell off began, despite disagreements between Woolworths and their US partner in Masters – Lowe's, who were in discussions (and heading towards the courts) concerning the value of the Masters business. [Source: Daily Telegraph - Masters sell-off] This wouldn't be resolved until April 2017 with arbitration in the Federal Court in Woolworths' favour. [Source: The West Australian - All clear to sell Masters sites] 

Woolworths' next official statement came on 24th August 2016 when they released an online media statement further explaining Masters' exit from the market.

It stated that all Masters would cease trading on the 11 December 2016. 

Metcash (owner of Mitre 10 and supplier to IGA) would be acquiring Home Timber & Hardware Group (HTHG) for a headline purchase price of $165 million, with the business continuing to trade.

Woolworths' annual report for 2016 still tried to spin the positives.

Masters' sales increased to 21.8% on the previous year, meaning their sales were $1.1 billion. 

Masters' loss before interest and tax decreased by 4.9% to $233.5 million.

Most of the reporting around the end of 2016 concerned either Masters' fire sale of all its stock following the announcement of the close of business and articles on "why Masters failed" or other spins on this. 

2017

At the start of 2017 reporting concerning Masters was mostly dominated by the aforementioned case concerning Lowe's stake in Masters, which was settled in Woolworths' favour. 

At the end of 2017 Woolworths' annual report sort of states the obvious regarding their home improvement sales stating "Home Improvement sales declined in FY17 compared to the prior year following the closure of Masters stores in December 2016 and the sale of Home Timber & Hardware Group (HTHG) to Metcash in October 2016." which is sort of stating the obvious if they were ending Masters.

The only other vaguely interesting part of the annual report is the sale of 40 Masters freehold trading sites, 21 Masters freehold development sites and 20 Masters leasehold sites, with Woolworths obliged to acquire three Masters freehold sites and take assignment or assume responsibility for the liabilities associated with 11 Masters leases. 

For those unfamiliar with these terms, freehold means they own the land.

Leasehold means it's a lease, they're renting, but it's a big (usually long) agreement. 

Freehold development sites I believe means blocks of land that they haven't put anything on, but they were going to build a building on. 

So:

  • 40 Masters freehold trading sites = 40 sites which are a block of land with a Masters building on it.

  • 21 Masters freehold development sites = 21 sites which are a block of land that might've been developed into a Masters.

  • 20 Masters leasehold sites = 20 sites which they're leasing. 

After the Masters sell off of stock, land, building and sites the most notable remaining feature of Masters were all the large blue buildings that were left at various locations around the country.

Some of these Home Consortium had a deal to buy 61 ex-Masters stores and 21 development sites. With the intent to turn them into large shopping centres with a few major lease holders within. [Source: SMH - Woolworths extricates from Masters mess]

While others were purchased by Bunnings. [Source: WA Today - Bunnings swoops on four old Masters stores]

2018

With the Masters sell off more or less complete any coverage concerning Masters was mostly related to the sell off of their freehold trading sites - those locations with a building on it. 

Other hardware-related coverage concerned the quite disastrous foray into the hardware market that Bunnings made in the UK. [Source: SMH - Wesfarmers' British Bunnings nightmare deepens] With analysts in February 2018 saying that Bunnings UK & Ireland (or BUKI) wouldn't even break even until 2022. [Source: AFR - BUKI losses 'worse' than Woolworths' Masters] Which is about the same amount of time Masters was given (and then was would up within that time). 

After what had happened here in Australia with Masters, Bunnings and Wesfarmers really should have known better than to try and expand, especially into an international market.

They didn't even wait the 5 years, in May 2018 Bunnings UK & Ireland (BUKI) was wound up, with Wesfarmers selling BUKI for £1. [Source: SMH: In for $705m, out for £1]

Beyond

Looking at the Masters legacy, the ones you can actually walk into; it's their physical buildings, which are quite poor as actual conversion for other retail endeavours. 

The formerly Masters Mornington, now a HomeCo and the home of a gigantic Coles and quite large Super Cheap Auto reveals a site quite unsuited to anything, even a hardware or DIY store. 

Large separated car park - HomeCo Mornington

A large separated car park, while the Masters separate exit and entrances have now been changed to a single entrance the layout of the car park is still poor with no disabled parking close to the entrance itself.

Inside the Coles seems to be riffing on the American format that Masters through its Lowe's partnership seemed to want to emulate. While this Coles is large and evenly lit, unlike the Masters that preceded it, it's too big to properly shop in if you're used to any regular-sized Coles. 
It's almost weirdly fitting that this is Masters' legacy, an unworkable format, too big and awkwardly thought out that isn't in keeping with the established architecture and layouts in the Australian retail market.

Sorrento Vanilla Slice - Just Fine Food

19th August 2019 - 2:30 pm

'Just Fine Food, the home of Sorrento's Famous Vanilla Slice' so says their Facebook page is very old school, and kinda in a good way.

The chairs are bentwood and a bit too light. 

The food options are pretty minimal, a couple of cakes, a few savoury slices and one or two other things.

But you're not really going here for anything other than the vanilla slice. 

Just Fine Food outdoor seating area.

I would make a terrible food blogger because I almost never remember to take a photo of the food I'm eating. I'm more interested in actually eating the food. So I have no photos of the vanilla slice itself. 

Just Fine Foods' google listing has plenty of nice photos of the vanilla slice taken in the sunshine or in perfectly balanced / edited light. 

I wasn't sat in the sunshine, because it was intermittently being sunny and rainy at the same time. 

The vanilla slice had wonderfully crisp pastry, a dense, creamy interior, some sort of jam on the base and the bottom remained firm enough to cut with the spoon, having not gone very soggy from the weight of the slice sitting on top of it.

The slice was also quite large, flat dimensions around a portable external hard drive – about 10 cm x 8 cm and probably 6-8 cm high. It was substantial, but not overwhelming.

It had a lot of icing sugar on top and more was dusted around it. A little too much in places for me, so I scraped that off. 

Large teapot filled with searingly hot water.

Old school wise, this is the first cafe I've been to in a while that their tea options is an old school stainless steel tea pot with leaf tea. Most cafes try to do something fancy with smaller tea pots (my associate an I were both having the same tea so the pot was large). The cups were not very big. But there was definitely enough for several cups of tea. 

The milk jug was also stainless steel and quite a large amount of milk in it even if you're having your tea quite milky.

Other notable things, the spoon provided to eat the vanilla slice was a teaspoon of the same design as that with the tea. Again something a lot of other cafes don't do, they seem to want to have a huge range of cutlery and plates.

Sugar canister.

The sugar is white for your hot drinks is white and there are no other options, and it's in a canister on the tables not packets of sugar like in a lot of cafes. 

These plates had obviously seen some use and wear, the same with the cutlery. 

There were no napkins on the tables, there were outside, but inside they were by the counter. I can understand why, being in a tourist destination they're likely to see a lot of use for things not food related use. It probably all adds up.

The cafe itself is less than inviting if you like modern cafes, the ceiling is very high, the tables and seating hasn't been updated in a long while.

But it doesn't need to have been, this is practically a single item destination cafe, you're not going there for anything other than their vanilla slice.

There appears to be nine other cafes along Ocean Beach Road where Just Fine Foods is. There are likely better fully featured options if that's what you're looking for. But for a really good vanilla slice, then this is the place to go.

In adding the links out to the google listing and adding photos I was looking through the search results for 'Sorrento vanilla slice' and discovered Just Fine Food have a website, which is not linked on their google listing. The site shows off none of its old schoolness. It's a fairly, not generic, but recognisably 'cafe website' style of site. A quick look through the page source of the website reveals it's using woocommerce.

None of the photos appear to have been taken in the cafe, or if they were they were taken in a black light box, the exception is one photo; a top down shot of a vanilla slice on a wooden table this is probably taken outside.

The menu on the website does show that there's more on offer than what I first thought walking in there. 

Additionally the About Us page is very lacking in information. From the reviews on google it's enough to infer that the business itself has changed hands at least once, though the recipe and the person making it has not. I couldn't find a source for this aside from another blog, but I guess this isn't something you go out of your way to publicise.

National 4x4 Expo - Melbourne 2019

Friday, 16th August 2019

Approaching dark clouds

I went back to my ute for my umbrella, as when I arrived the rain hadn't started and the rain radar seemed to suggest the rain had either passed or was going to miss the Melbourne Showgrounds. However I wasn't going to risk it. 

Bit of sunshine through the clouds

It did rain, more a constant drizzle than big droplets of rain. This shouldn't be a problem for the weekend visitors however looking at the forecast it was only Friday that copped the rain.

There is a shuttle bus from the Flemington Racecourse car park, which I wasn't going to bother utilising, the walk from the car park to where the expo is held isn't that long. But the bus was waiting just after I went back for my umbrella, and it's free. 

The bus they were utilising on Friday has a 2 by 1 seat arrangement it was around a 20 seater, and it goes through Flemington Racecourse out the back and up Leonard Crescent and Langs Road. The bus is quite cramped (at least in single seat where I sat). 

It also bottomed out a couple of times turning out of Flemington and into the showgrounds. 

There was quite a queue waiting for the shuttle bus when we arrived.

Start of the walk back to the car park

It's not advertised on either the showgrounds' site nor the 4x4 expo's site that you can walk from the Flemington Racecourse into the showgrounds, but you can, there's a path under the railway line. It's also not sign-posted anywhere within the car park or the showgrounds itself.

It is maybe 5-10 minute walk, just under a kilometre to walk.

Parking is $20.

The ticket office has been badly placed for when you arrive by the shuttle bus, as it just looks like a random de-mountable office and has probably been placed better for people walking from the car park.

There's 4 main areas, plus outside, which given the level of rain I only had a quick wander through. 

The Grand Pavilion, where I went in first, was mostly 4x4 related stuff, with a lot of bull bars on display, Ultimate Campers camper trailers and the ARB and Iron Man stands.

I had a good look through the Ultimate Campers area, I quite like the design of Ultimate Campers' camper trailers, with the teardrop design. However when I was looking around it I walked into the supports holding up the outer canopy (twice).

But Patriot Campers' offerings are also exceptionally good, keep developing. They had a lot more features and things that could be added, and have really solid design.

Ford Ranger - Alu-Cab

I had a quick look at the Alu-Cab a sort of camper trailer thing but something that could fit into the tray of a dual cab ute. 

This looked like it had a few too many compromises to be decent, good sized bed, but the lower area was a little too small. 

It's certainly the best version of this idea I've seen, a few years ago I saw a similar sort of thing, but you had to have a ute with an aluminium tray and the camper trailer-style thing just sort of slotted onto the tray. But also seemed quite heavy, adding a lot of top heavy weight to the ute. This Alu-Cab version appears a lot lighter.

I like seeing these things, but I'm not keen on them as I'm more of a road tripping sort of traveller than a stop and stay in one place for a few nights.

So if I'm in a location away from somewhere that might offer a comfortable bed and shower, then I have a swag which serves me well enough for a night's sleep.  

Discount hall

The main arena was where the performances were happening with very few people watching in the rain.

Full Sized Toy Cars on the Boulevard

In Hall 3 was what I like to think of as the secondary tat market. This is all the stuff that's seems like it's no-name brand or stuff that kinda is a bit rubbishy / maybe a bargain at the show. It's all the stuff for the inside of your camper trailer, along with jerky and whatever else. In this space off to the side is also where talks were being given. 

Across the boulevard is the Boulevard Pavillon, a whole space dedicated to (mostly larger) camper trailers and off road caravans. It's quite a stark space compared to the others.

Hall 1 is where everything else is, it's the largest and has a large TJM stall, there's also Aussie Disposals and Opposite Lock.

Tasmania mid-winter 2019 - 7 - Return

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I was I think the last car off the ferry, parked in one corner of deck 2. There were no cars to follow out, so almost took a wrong turning coming out of deck 2 out of the ship. It's not as though there's any marking on the ship at all to actually indicate where to go, and if you're the last one out that doesn't help,

Lake Lea road, Vale of Belvoir

Reflecting on my voyage to Tasmania in the winter, it taught me several things. I learnt a bit from this trip, even if I didn't enjoy all of it. 

Pumphouse Point is somewhere that made me the most miserable, for the most amount of money, dressed up in the airiness of luxury. It is luxurious, but completely not for me. 

I didn't get the relaxation promised, I didn't really enjoy it either. But it taught me and gave me an example of what I don't want, which I think is a valuable lesson in and of itself. 

Inside room at Pumphouse Point

My experience there wouldn't stop me from returning to the general area again, there's the Lake St Clair lodge that also offers accommodation which might be more my thing.

But the stay at Pumphouse Point with its regimented time for dinner felt a little too much like a tour-type experience where I had to be there and there was a big speech about how dinner worked. I'm much more for a relaxed way of dining where I can just go and do my thing and leave, returning to my room to relax. 

Upon reflection I realise now I would have preferred to stay somewhere where I have full control of what I do and when. At Lake St Clair I didn't really feel that, even for that single night I was there. 

Parked at Spray Tunnel

Parked at Spray Tunnel

I prefer long drives to take in the scenery, the doing stuff at the destination has less appeal for me, I knew this already, but this Tasmanian trip has confirmed it. 

If I was going to go to Tasmania in the winter again I'd take a lot more warm clothing. 

I should have brought more pairs of my pure Merino socks rather than half Merino and half wool blend socks. 

Also a few other things like a air compressor (the cold gave the tyre pressure warnings in my ute a bit of a freakout).

Bonfire at the Mid-Winter Festival

I was right to take three pairs of shoes, even though I only used two of them. One of the pair were some waterproof Gore-Tex boots which kept my feet dry in the muddy Ranelagh site.

I wonder if I would go to Tasmania again in the winter? I'm not sure, maybe. The last time I went to Tasmania I went in October, which was really pleasant. Cool but sunny days. I think I might go to Tasmania in the latter parts of winter, again. But perhaps not the middle of winter. 

But then...maybe I'll go again to the Mid-Winter Festival, I enjoyed it this year, and maybe I'll go again, I'll just make sure to book better, warmer, nicer accommodation next time. And going again with a better idea of what will happen might make it more enjoyable. 

Tasmania mid-winter 2019 - 6 - To Devonport & Return

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This wasn't actually going to be my last day, but while I was staying at the whispering ponies saddle club, I found myself feeling a bit miserable, especially staying there where it just seemed forever a little bit chilly. 

Waiting to board the Spirit of Tasmania II

I had intended to stay one more day in Tasmania, but with the cold and everything it had started to drag my mood down a lot, and I'd decided to change my plans and return home a day early. 

In looking at the drive from Bruny Island back up to Devonport I didn't want to just drive along the Midland Highway, so opted to go a little inland and take a detour to Richmond and towns around and along the route as I headed north.

I just chose Richmond as it was on tourist maps and made for somewhere to aim for.

While in Richmond I had a look inside one or two antique shops. Some nice stuff, albeit expensive.

Driving from Richmond north on the B31 made me realise what I actually enjoy, and what I'd enjoyed on previous visits to Tasmania and to other places in Australia, and that's driving along the not main road. 

The slightly twisting, very quiet road that linked small towns, this was something I really enjoyed and allowed me to properly sort of relax and look around at the landscape. 

Somewhat disappointingly the B31 rejoined the A1 in Jericho, bringing an end to that route, but bringing 110 km speeds, something as a native Victorian I'm less than familiar with driving on a regular basis. 

In fact, Tasmania's highways and freeways which are set at 110 km are I think the roughest roads that have a 110 km speed limit of any of the states I've driven with this speed limit.

Return. 

The return journey on the ferry was worse than coming over to Tasmania. 

Coming over, the sailing was noisy with the waves crashing into the ship.

But returning, the sea was extra rough; when I was in bed I at several points felt weightless as the ship pitched up and down. 

I do wonder if part of it is because once the ship leaves the Mersey river it's in Bass Strait, while when it leaves Melbourne it has to transverse Port Phillip Bay before it gets into open water. 

The night was far more eventful returning to Melbourne than going over. But as I had a much shorter drive upon returning I wasn't as worried about the the sleep I had.

Tasmania mid-winter 2019 - 5 - Bruny Island

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Bruny Island was cold, which isn't a surprise as I was in Tasmania in the winter. I was as I discovered while I was there, unprepared for how cold it was going to be. 

First I had to get to Kettering, where the ferry leaves from.

On the way from Franklin I stopped off at Eggs and Bacon Bay, just because it's got a silly name and I wanted to go and have a look.

The road in is very long and sweeping. It seems like so many roads in Tasmania are excellent drivers' roads. 

There's no convenient sign to take a photo in front of and say that I've visited Eggs and Bacon Bay. Or at least not that I saw. 

It's a sleepy beachside town, with not a lot in it. 

The cove where I took some photos was very windy. 

The process for buying a ticket and boarding the ferry to Bruny Island was very simple. 

As you drive towards the ferry on Ferry Road in Kettering, you get in the left lane and then stop at a ticket box.

It's $38 dollars return, once you're past the ticket box no one looks at your ticket, I guess as there's no other way onto Bruny Island there's no reason to check your ticket.

Boarding the ferry is as simple as driving on, following the instructions on where to park.

The crossing takes about 20 minutes. You can get out of your car and walk around, take photos and do whatever if you wish.

Half way across water and waves splashed across half the cars on the ferry, so I was glad to not be standing outside. Very few people actually got out and walked around anyways. 

First thing I noticed about Bruny Island was that despite all the recent rain, how dry it was looking. 

Second thing I noticed was how untouched Bruny Island looks, much like a lot of the smaller towns I'd been to, but to a much more extreme extent that it still looks colonial era in its appearance. Undeveloped.

I stopped off at the Bruny Island Cheese and Beer Co to buy some cheese. The last time I was in Tasmania I'd bought and quite enjoyed their cheese (at Salamanca Market), so thought I'd visit while I was on the island.

I also had a croque monsieur for lunch.

And I got another of the weird pitying smiles from them when I asked what non-alcoholic options they had.

I really don't get why though, I walked in on my own, their business is in the middle of no where and it was lunch time, was I expected to order a large beer?

It was also freezing inside their shop, and they had all the doors and open, despite the wind.

Maybe I'm just a dirty mainlander who didn't get the Tasmanian weather, but the staff were all wearing thick insulated shirts / jackets. 

I thought maybe they could've closed one of the doors out onto the covered deck, or had more of a roaring fire in their wood burner.

When I commented that I'd chosen to sit at a dirty uncleared away table inside because it was freezing outside one of the waitstaff just laughed and said 'good Tasmanian winter's day'.

I didn't really have many plans beyond this, I had maybe thought about visiting the Bruny Island Lighthouse, but the temperature was falling and the ‘feels like temperature’ for the lighthouse was dropping down to fractions below 1.0º, so I made the decision to cut my day short and head to my accommodation.

The accommodation I'd booked for my single night's stay on Bruny Island was a revelation.

The host messaged me saying that I could arrive at 1:00 pm rather than the 2:00 pm check in, and that they had the fire going for me. I arrived to a really warm beach house, perfectly renovated, in a really tasteful Airbnb-friendly sort of way. And despite it being in a colder part of Tasmania, much more exposed, this beach house was so warm and welcoming (which I didn't find at the Whispering Ponies). 

I sat for a few hours just looking out at the view across the D'Entrecasteaux Channel (the channel of water between Bruny Island and Tasmania). It was a really breathtaking view and it's something I could have sat and looked at for a long time. 

My dining companion - the ugly lamp

For dinner I made my way to Hotel Bruny. 

I had fried squid as an entree and slow cooked lamb in a larger sauce. Or at least that's what it was listed as on the menu. It was more of a gloopy brown sauce, with some crunchy slithers of carrot, broccolini and beans. 

I was actually really glad to return to my accommodation. Of all the places I stayed in Tasmania this was the only place that felt warm, but not just that, cosy, friendly and it was a nice place to be. 

Only indication left of the age of the house, the rest has been perfectly renovated.

I'd happily return and stay at the 'Secret Spot', it was the perfect cosy place to stay.

Interesting thing on the return journey the following day on the ferry, it's not bi-directional. It is drive on and drive off, but on the return journey you're going 'backwards' relative to how your cars are positioning. When it gets back to Kettering the ferry turns around to allow you to drive off.

Tasmania mid-winter 2019 - 3 & 4 - Huon Valley Mid-Winter Festival

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This is why I was in Tasmania in the dead of winter. For the Huon Valley Mid-Winter Festival. 

It's all about burning things and wassailing to the trees.

There was also a long-table banquet lunch that I attended on the Saturday.

The festival went for 3 days, the third on Sunday was a family day, I elected not to go to that.

On Friday was the welcome ceremony and the burning of 'Big Willy'.

It had been raining off and on on the lead up to the Friday and continued to do so during Friday night. 

Huon Valley Mid-Winter Festival Frday-1.jpg

I wore; a long sleeved t-shirt, an insulated flannel-esque shirt (except it was all synthetic) and then over the top a SpiritHoods faux fur calf length coat, and in all of this I was only just warm enough. 

The site the Ranelagh show grounds was already quite sodden, and would get a lot worse on the following day.

On Friday night I arrived at about 6:30 pm with the intention to get something to eat, see the welcome ceremony and burning man and then leave. 

The music held only a passing interest for me, I was mostly there for the experience.

Also, not a big drinker, while I acknowledge it's a bit of an irony to be at a cider festival and not partake all that much.

For dinner I had a smoked and slow cooked lamb shank with creamy mash, followed a while later by a fancy doughnut, which was as big as a side plate. 

Everything, it being Tasmania and a environmentally conscious festival was served in paper or bamboo fibre bowls etc, there was very little plastic around, and if it was it was bioplastic. 

Martin Maudsley

One of the highlights that I didn't expect would be was the storytelling tent, especially the international storyteller Martin Maudsley, who told quite a dark deep folk tale, which is probably quite old, I'm sure I've heard it told before, but the way he told it, just stuck with me. Looking at his website the tale was 'Wayland the Smith'.

The welcome began very mediaeval torches and people wearing furs and carrying shields.

It's very much riffing on a lot of history that doesn't quite exist in Tasmania in relation to apple harvesting and cider making and all that. But it feels genuine. 

They wound their way from the bottom of a small incline up to where 'Big Willie' was, then everything went red as flares were lit, followed by the setting alight of the 15 metre tall man. 

The music that was playing then takes a bit of a turn mixing in new age electronica and didgeridoo music along with folk music as Big Willy started to properly burn. 

Saturday 

I was there at 1:00 pm for the lunch mid-winter banquet. A long table banquet of wintery food and beverages from the cider genre.

Overnight the rain had not done great things to the site, I'd actually gotten an email saying that gumboots were essential, and that the plentiful parking in the paddock next to the site had become impassable and for 4WDs only. I elected to park there because I had a 4WD and the grass wasn't too sodden. When I came to leave later that night I still needed to engage 4WD to actually get out however. 

Also, within the festival grounds itself they'd obviously decided to try and deal with the mud by using the large amount of hay bales around the site which were for seating and dividing up areas and instead spread it out onto the mud to try and soak or spread out the mud. 

Looking at it I thought that might work for an hour or two, but it wasn't going to solve any problems. 

We were greeted with one of two cocktails during the feast. It had ice, something that given the temperature was a bit pointless. It contained...something apple, something strong and something...else. I'm not a big fan of cocktails, and struggled to identify the flavours beyond these. It was strong and I didn't finish it.

The entrees were presented off to the side of the tent and a lot of people missed them as they were walking in. 

There were slow roasted / smoked potatoes with smoked salt and aioli and also beef hanger steak, slow cooked over coals served with a salsa verde.

The potatoes were served in a little bamboo container, the beef was served with a toothpick to pick it up with.

I went back to both areas a few times because a lot of people seemed to file in, get their cocktail and then take a seat, while I as a solo dinner and attendee had no real compulsion to sit down with anyone, so I stuck around the food.

Once I got to the table, I found there was sourdough and cultured butter to eat it with.

The main course was simple, delicious, on the surface rustic, but quite complex flavours with a mediaeval bend to it. Everything was served on very heavy wooden boards. With everything cooked over or on fire. Done so by beardy men.

I did take some photos but everything was under red lights, a theme for the festival or maybe a subconscious colour trick to persuade everyone that it was warm, I'm not sure.

But even with copious amounts of colour correction I'm not sure if I've got the photos I took back to what colour they should have been (because I only ever saw it under red light).

We were served Willie Smith's French Blend cider with the meal, I had less than everyone else, but still consumed some. It was deliciously complex cider, a really delicate and complicated mix of tannins and flavours playing over the tongue and back palate when drinking it. Especially as the initial chill of the drink came away and I sipped it as it warmed a little bit. Then the lingering flavours on the tongue gave way to a earthy, punchy apple flavour, like the smell of an old apple on a tree, or being in an apple grove, it was wonderfully evocative and complicated. Writing this up now I am regretting not stopping in at Willie Smith's and buying a few to bring home with me.

While waiting for the Wassail to begin I wandered the tents of music and performance. Saw a lady begin a song by saying "this song's about euthanasia, but don't worry, it's upbeat". It was not upbeat at all, maybe if you just listened to the guitar chords it might have been. 

I also saw Martin Maudsley again who spoke with enthusiasm about a festival having a storytelling tent amongst its performance spaces. He told a story about a fish granting wishes and a devil who asked questions and a fisherman who turned into a milk farmer after giving away fish. 

Brave person in a costume on stilts on the muddy ground

He also told a story from one of the Brothers Grimm's groups of stories. But as the temperature dropped, and I rugged myself up, I became a little drowsy. I do remember sitting and listening to him. But then, and now writing this up I don't remember much from his second tale.

The bonfire was lit around 4:20 pm, and was properly alight around 20 minutes later. 

This provided a nice focal point for the festival, although I was wary of getting too close as I was wearing two different items of clothing made from faux fur; not the friendliest of materials to fire. Although there were other people in very synthetic coats and jackets that were fine standing close to the fire pits who weren't worried. But given the fluffiness of the faux fur I was a bit more cautious. 

Huonville weather 13 July 2019 6.33pm

By 5:30 pm the temperature was down to 4.8º with a feels like temperature of 1.4º, an hour later the temperature was still the same but the feels like had dropped to 0.2º.

Unlike when I was at Pumphouse Point, here the vibe, the feeling around people and place, kept my mood high. 

The rain also (mostly) stayed away during the Wassailing, which was good. I had an umbrella handy, but it was unneeded for the most part during the wassail.

We sang the wassail song, there was a shotgun that was fired. 

It was all very ancient and traditional (despite only being started here in 2014). But with the fire, flaming torches, Morris Dancers and everything else, it felt like this had been going on for years and years.

As the Wassail finished and the temperature driving further downwards from zero, and mud coming up above my ankles I trudged back to my ute and returned to the whispering ponies.

Tasmania mid-winter 2019 - 3 & 4 - Whispering Saddles Pony Farm

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Whispering Spirit Ponies is located along near the end of a long road called Swamp Road which snakes its way up the hill in Franklin.

I'd looked on Airbnb for accommodation and this was the closest 'whole house' accommodation nearest to Huonville (as I was going there for the Huon Valley Mid-Winter Festival). 

It's a long muddy driveway into their property, there's also a little farm gate shop present, which I only realised as I was looking around to work out where to go, and to do a U-Turn from where I'd parked. And because a Nissan small SUV had followed me in and was now giving me odd looks.

There was a sign for 'Reception' though not much indications beyond that.

I met Heidi who directed me around to the back of their property. Heidi's German, met her husband too, German accents still strong despite having been in Tasmania for a while I think.

Heidi directed me to "Lemon Cottage", not what it's called on Airbnb, and I realised there'd been some careful photography of the cottage. It's not a fully independent cottage, rather it's semi-detached, joined I think through the main house's laundry and storage rooms. The door that linked the two was locked.

Fireplace in corridor linking kitchen to lounge.

It's called Lemon Cottage as there's a large lemon tree growing in the covered area near the front door.

The cottage turned out to be 4 rooms; a lounge room, bathroom, bedroom and kitchen, and in the corridor linking the latter three was the wood burning fireplace.

Heidi provided me a loaf of bread from their farmer’s shop. The ‘Farmers Loaf’ was...solid, and has an ingredient of ‘quark’ in it. I would've looked up what that is, but couldn't while I was there in the cottage, for reasons I'll get to shortly.

The bathroom didn't have an extractor fan and the shower looks like it’s circa 1970s, the same with the kitchen taps which also look like they’re circa 1970s. 

The basin in the bathroom is a probably a Bunnings special from the last few years.

The hot water is provided by a tank inside the bathroom, there’s also a washing machine inside the bathroom as well. 

There were a range of towels provided, all different colours. Enough for 3 nights of different towels. 

The kitchen was a bit of a mixed bag. 

There were a few slices of ham in the fridge, which I wasn't game enough to try, along with a few slices of singles-type cheese, two eggs, some butter, pineapple and orange juice, 2L bottle of milk and a bottle of water.

Having travelled a little bit on my road trips I've learnt to travel with my own tea bags, it just makes for a much better tea experience, having unfamiliar tea means you don't relax as easily. I also have sugar and UHT milk in the back as well. (All of this isn't just my obsessiveness it's part of my emergency food box I've got in the back along with a Trangia as part of the 'just in case' kit).

I also have my own kettle (a collapsible one), but didn't think I would need it. 

I knew I'd be using the tea, but didn't think I would be using the kettle, and the sugar as well.

In looking around the kitchen I saw the sugar. There were two jars for sugar, both had less than half a jar of sugar in then. The brown sugar had less than a quarter in it. The white sugar had a few lumps in it, which was fine, lumps are just a bit of moisture that's got in. But then as I shook the jar and pushed the spoon around inside it I found that there were some black somethings within the jar. 

So I elected to get the sugar from my ute. 

Along with my kettle, which as I discovered looking inside the kettle also had a few foreign bits inside and the element seemed like it was malting a little bit. 

Because of these observations I was a little wary of the ham that had been left in the fridge. As, while the surfaces and sink of the kitchen were clean, when you paid a little more attention to the minutiae of it, then things seemed to go down hill a little bit.

The a wood burning fire place kept the cottage warm-ish. If you really feed it and continue to feed it full of wood then it would choof out a bit of heat. If you don’t or if you let it go out, which unfortunately I did, even though I filled it full of wood before I went out and turned down the air flow it still chewed through all that and then went out as the wood wasn't very dense.

I did manage to re-light it, but it wasn't quite the same.

There were also two panel heaters, one which is circa 1970s-1980s I know this because it’s a Vulcan brand and we had something that looked almost the same but as a ducted heater control panel in the house when I was growing up.

The other had been purchased in the last 10 years, I elected to use that one to keep the bedroom warm.

But it wasn't. 

Not warm in the cottage, I went through a lot of my tea and continued to wear my warm clothing from outside, inside. 

Constantly feeding the fireplace and drinking hot drinks kept me...okay? in the temperature department, but not much beyond that.

Then there was the almost, but not totally, no phone reception. 

I have an iPhone 8, with Telstra and I could get 1 bar of 3G reception. And that’s only in the lounge room, and if you stand in front of the fire then you’ll probably get that as well.

In the bedroom it’s SOS only or No Service, the same in the kitchen. 

It’s amazing that within a 15 minute drive of Huonville, that you can go from 4G reception to 1 bar of 3G. It was astounding, though not the fault of the hosts. Although when I was looking back through the Airbnb listing it does wi-fi, but there was no sign of any wi-fi signals in the cottage at all. Not even password protected or anything, just none.

Now, in writing this up I've looked up the address of the Whispering Ponies on Telstra's coverage map, and it seems to be in the exact middle of a zero coverage spot on the side of the hill, with no 3G or 4G coverage.Any internetting I needed to be doing I had to wait until I was within Huonville where I'd get a 4G signal. 

Maybe it's good for people who want a "digital detox" but I like to have some semblance of internet connection. 

If I'd known there wasn't going to be any data reception I would have planned for that. Maybe not have stayed there, I'm not sure.

I didn't put a lot of this in my Airbnb review as it is a little petty / obsessive in its observation.

I stayed at the whispering pony saddle club for 2 days, and was cold for both of those days / nights.

Maybe, like Pumphouse Point in a season that isn't winter it'd be nicer.

Tasmania mid-winter 2019 - 3 - Salmon Ponds

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This is another 'checkpoint location' I had on my list of places to look at, or to use as points on a map to go the most interesting way to my destination in Franklin. 

I had intended to stop off at The Wall on my way out of Lake St Clair, but it was pouring...which turned into snowing and made me drop my speed down as visibility shifted as the weather did and I must have missed the driveway for it.

It didn't matter, not really as because of the conditions I was doing about half the speed limit as I drove away from Lake St Clair. I got a warning on my ute that the autonomous emergency breaking system wasn't functional - because I assumed snow in the sensors.

I had also intended to go to the Gordon Dam, a location I keep meaning to go to each time I visit Tasmania and every time I don't quite get out there as it's an hour and a half drive one way from the main intersecting road out there, so the 3 hours it would take out of my schedule wasn't quite worth it.

But I found Salmon Ponds while looking at a map of the area.

How the Salmon eggs were brought to Australia

Salmon Ponds is the location of where salmon farming began in Australia, there's artificial water courses, a museum and a cafe to eat.

The cafe is kind of average, it's pancake-themed, everything you can order is pancake based and comes with a salad which is fresh, but with quite a sweet dressing. 

I wandered around the ponds, had a look in the museum and finally ate at the cafe. 

I had the smoked salmon pancake which was...interesting.

It had sun-dried tomatoes, spinach and cheese. 

When I ordered it I wondered if it would be cream cheese within, with those flavours it would have been fairly pleasant.

Nope.

Tasty cheese, it all melted like in a cheese jaffle.

It was...okay?

Filling and not entirely unpleasant.

Also ordered an apple cider with my meal, thought I'd be getting a Tasmania-manufactured one. 

Nope. 

Appletiser (product of South Africa).

Salmon Ponds is interesting, a nice wander around even on a freezing day. There's a great selection of European trees that would've been planted when it was all built there, so it's quite a European-looking set of gardens.

Tasmania mid-winter 2019 - 2 - Pumphouse Point

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Pumphouse Point is the most money I've spent, to be completely miserable. 

View from my room

It's a boutique hotel, in the middle of a lake, in a national park. 

And it's full to the brim of luxury.

And I never want to go there again.

When I arrived I was offered some of Tasmania's finest sparkling wine or sparkling water. 

When I mentioned that I didn't drink (much), the lady in charge of greeting me gave me a smile and a look, and this look I'd get a lot more during my stay in Tasmania. 

It was a sort of pitying, strange smile, that sort of said 'why not?'. 

I cannot handle alcohol, I'm a very weak drunk, and in general I don't really like wine all that much. 

I couldn't just get my key, they had to explain about dinner, was I attending and what time it was, and what time breakfast was the next morning.

In hindsight I should have opted for the dinner in my room, rather than the dinner at a specified time 'family platter-style dining'. 

I was also sort of interrogated about why I was staying there, and what I wanted out of it. 

Relaxation, business, adventure and a few other things. After a fairly long drive, which was of my own design, I thought I'd be able to arrive and check in, not be interrogated about what I wanted out of this situation. 

I said relaxation because I just wanted to relax, and go to my room.

She seemed to get a little annoyed that I was a bit tired and said 'we'll go over the rest later because you look like you want to go'. In hindsight I should have taken that as a sign of things to come. I didn't and smiled and said 'no, explain it' and she went over the times of dinner and breakfast, it was a bit of a blur and I asked if this was written down anywhere. 

No. 

And she didn't offer to write it down for me. 

Now, getting out to the pumphouse was implemented very inconsistently.

When you first arrive they take you and your bags out there on little golf carts, which given the freezing rain and wind was nice.

But, each other time you want to go back to your car, to reception, to the main building where dinner and breakfast was served you had to brave the driving wind and freezing rain.

At dinner, which I arrived late to by falling asleep in my room, rugged up because the single panel heater in my room didn't exactly fill the space with heat, I chatted to come people who didn't seem like they felt the cold even in the dining room it was cool.

When I enquired if I could get a golf cart back to the pumphouse I was sort of given a look and a few words to the affect of 'no, everyone who drives those has gone home, let me look, and I'll see, maybe I'll have to'. From my dining companions it was suggested that no, you just had to walk along there at night in the below freezing wind and rain.

I was driven back, but she made it seem like I was getting special treatment and that it was a huge imposition.

Temperature of the morning I departed.

The following morning I took my bags back to my ute, I didn't bother asking them to help me, I didn't want to go through the exasperation and annoyance from them. 

If I'd known this was going to be the case with my bags, I'd have repacked everything into my smaller bag.

Also their umbrellas were terrible against the wind and rain, a few of them were broken. I was glad I took my own with me.

On the positives. The view was amazing. The in room 'pantry' was very well stocked and you could have dinner without leaving your room.

It is a very unique location, and it is luxurious. 

I don't want to throw them under the lake, because it is all the things they promote themselves for. And I knew many of these things before going.

I think for couples it would be a much better stay, especially if you like the outdoors.

But, it was a lot of money for me to spend to be incredibly miserable.

I've stayed in a lot of average to vaguely awful places in the past. 

But they've all been quite unique and generally cheap.

Pumphouse Point was quite unique, almost to a fault.

Not remotely good for a solo traveller. 

Its foibles not well communicated either.

Next time I go to Tasmania and am looking to stay in the Lake St Clair I'd probably opt for an Airbnb in Queenstown or Strahn. 

That would offer a unique experience without superiority or utter misery inducing experience.

Alternatively...I might stay at Pumphouse Point again in the future, despite everything I've said it was a unique experience, and one I do wonder that if I experienced it in the spring, summer or even autumn I wonder if I might have a different experience to the middle of winter.

Tasmania mid-winter 2019 - 2 - Lake Lea & Spray Tunnel

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My destination, after leaving the Devonport dock was Pumphouse Point, Lake St Clair. But I had to get there first.

I had intended to stop in for breakfast at Windows On Westella a fancy cafe at a pickled onion factory in Ulverstone. But the ship got in quite early so I just went to Cafe Squire right near the port, it couldn't be any more average than a pub I went to nearby the last time I went to Tasmania.

Cafe Squire breakfast

Cafe Squire was reasonably priced, but a lot of their big breakfast options included jalapeños, not something I fancied for breakfast, so I opted for eggs, bacon, mushrooms spinach and hash browns.

The hash browns were far too uniform to be anything but commercially produced.

The spinach was very fresh and the meal was a good sized serving.

The orange juice tasted like concentrate. 

So, off I departed. 

I had intended to go to Ulverstone and then take the B17, then the C123, to Upper Castra, heading for Lake Lea (near Cradle Mountain) and the continue on to Zeehan before heading to Lake St Clair. 

But as I'd eaten early I decided there wasn't much point in diverting to Ulverstone, so instead I took the B15, which also headed up towards Cradle Mountain. 

I got about 10 minutes along the road only to be stopped by a Subaru with flashing lights. The Tasmanian police officer explained there were power lines down and asked where I was heading, before I could explain she asked 'Cradle Mountain', I replied yeah, close enough. She asked if I was a local and I said 'not remotely', but directed me to head towards Sheffield, when I got closer back towards the town; GPS / phone data wasn't present where we were.

I thanked her and ignored her advice. Deciding instead to follow the next road along; the B16 which would lead me to where I had originally intended to go.

I got about 15 minutes down the road. Only to be stopped by flashing lights and another Subaru. 

This police officer pointed to the power lines at a very bad angle and said 'we don't want them falling on anyone, could you turn around and find another way to wherever you were going', he didn't ask where I was heading, nor offer any advice.

At this point I thought about following the police lady's advice and head to Sheffield, but decided to push on to continue along my original path for the B17, which wasn't thankfully blocked by anything.

Following the B17 to Gawler I turned off onto the C123 - Top Gawler Road – the Touring Route. This actually rejoins the B15, which thankfully had bypassed the road block I'd encountered earlier.  Following this road (Castra Road) through Sprent to Upper Castra. Then turning onto Spellmans Road (which continues to be the C132).

It is a very, very steep road connecting to near Cradle Mountain. It's also got warnings that caravans and campervans cannot transverse the road. 

It's a 15% gradient. 

It is a really nice drive however, through plantations of what looked like spruce trees or something similar, quite a broad leaf and a light green foliage, almost blue tinged.

The decent down to almost river level had the steepest decent and dropped you down through the mist before climbing back out had a wonderful magical ætherial quality to it.

The Vale of Belvoir sign

From there I headed to Lake Lea and the Vale of Belvoir - Tasmania's only sub-alpine limestone valley. 

I didn't really know any of this before I chose it as my first stop of the day, on the map it just looked like an interesting lake with an interesting name associated with it. Also I didn't want to go up Cradle Mountain, and this seemed like an interesting place.

I did give myself a little panic, as I drove around the lake I came to dead end; doing a U-turn I reversed off the road a bit and then when I came to put my ute into drive...wheels spun. 

Panicked for a moment before remembering to put it in 4WD low, slowly got myself out of that situation.

Vale of Belvoir

I had to have a power nap in Tullah, the previous night's crossing had not done much for me getting a good night's sleep and the two false starts to the day's driving had put me a little bit behind in my driving mood.

So I stopped here for an hour plus.

I had intended to go from Tullah along the C252 Pieman Road to Whaleback Lookout and Reece Dam, but with the power nap, freezing weather and concerns stemming from that, I decided to forgo that diversion and continue ahead to Zeehan.

Narrow road that leads to/away from Spray Tunnel

Inside Spray Tunnel

I was heading for Zeehan and Spray Tunnel, another random place to go and have a look at, and a useful place to use as a checkpoint.

I'd been to Zeehan before, and commented that in the bright sunshine it looked extra grim. Now, visiting it in the dripping rain, overcast on a freezing day, this made it look better, it suited its look a lot more.

Spray Tunnel was reached by heading for the Zeehan golf course and then following a very narrow path down. The tunnel is kind of interesting in a not very sort of way. 

The car park is surprisingly large for what is a very narrow road to get there.

As I was leaving the road that led from Spray Tunnel back towards Zeehan I made a wrong turn and ended up on Heemskirk Road for about 20 minutes until I realised my mistake. From that point on I ended up using my GPS / CarPlay a lot more in my ute, as while I had planned and plotted my route out, it was better to know where I wanted to head to and allow the GPS to plot the actual route for me. Or to allow me to divert and it still re-plot a route for me, that would be a safer / more efficient way than making mistakes like this.

Tasmania mid-winter 2019 - 1 - Spirit of Tasmania

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It was rough, not as rough, I would reflect as coming back, but it was rough and noisy. 

The day I was on the ferry going over to Tasmania coincided with one of the windiest days (and nights) in Victoria and Tasmania. 

As with last time, and the time before that I'd been to Tasmania, the lie of the Spirit of Tasmania adverts continued. All the adverts may say that you can just drive on and drive off in one easy fluid manner. 

The reality is a bit less romantic.

How boarding happens onto the Spirit of Tasmania at Port Melbourne:

First things first, you arrive and queue up, then get questioned by Wilsons Security. 

In queue to entrance to Station Pier.

You need to open the bonnet of your car and open up the doors and boot, or tray in my case with a ute. You will be asked if you're carrying; fuel, firearms, gas bottles, fresh fruit, fish and a couple of other things.

If you answer negative to these you will be given a red card thing to hang from your rear view mirror. 

You will then drive through the Station Pier and around the corner, none of this is very well signposted, you kind of just follow the person in front of you. 

From there, there are two queues to queue up in. A left queue and a right queue.

These lead the the ticket booth to get your boarding pass and room pass/key. 

This is important, if you're driving solo, take the LEFT queue, this is because the ticket booth is in the middle of these two lanes and if you take the right you either have to get out or reach across your vehicle to the window, like if you drove a right-hand-drive vehicle in a left-hand-drive country. 

It's terrible and something I've learnt about only from going on the ferry twice in the past. No where does it offer advice like this.

Car queuing to get onto ship

Once you have your boarding pass you're in another queue to actually get onto the ship.

The very narrow passage into the ship

If you just have your vehicle and are not towing anything then be prepared to be directed into the bowels of the ship.

Deck 2 is where I was directed this time (both going over and coming back).

It is; through the front of the ship, along a very narrow driveway, only slightly wider than most normal-sized vehicles.

Then around a corner, and down a steep ramp, the ramp is closed during sailing with a heavy door that can be driven over.

Once inside this deck you will note a few things. 

It's a weird shape, and two, you will be directed into either side of the room, which means you'll either need to do a three point turn now or tomorrow when you leave.

Deck 2.

It's very tight, although there is enough room to open your car doors, probably not to the second notch, but enough to the first.

As you leave the vehicle deck, take the bit of paper near the lift, this tells you which lift / stairs to use and where your vehicle is. 

You may be tempted to wait for the lift, and if you're old, infirm or quite unfit, take the lift. It is 5 flights of stairs to climb to get from Deck 2 up to Deck 7.

Deck 7 is where (most of) the bars, entertainment and food is. It's also where a lot of the cabins are located. Some are one deck up on Deck 8. 

I took the stairs and was a little puffed by the time I got to Deck 7.

Corridor on deck 7 - Cabins both sides.

I have in the past tried all of the cabins on offer on the Spirit of Tasmania; inner cabin (located somewhere near the engines; very noisy, full of vibrations), standard cabin (porthole view, two single beds, okay enough, above the pet deck, noisy) and the deluxe cabin, these located looking over the bow of the ship have a double bed, TV, fridge and place to sit, they're more pricey but so much easier to get a good night's sleep.

That is if you're not sailing through gale-force winds. 

Which is what I was. 

The most disconcerting thing that night was the noise of the waves hitting the side of the ship followed by the clang though its structure.

For dinner the Tasmanian Market Kitchen is a buffet, and I discovered was all you can eat. You pay your $28.50 and get a stamp, entitling you to all you can eat buffet, and it's a carvery buffet as well, with also fried stuff like chips, fish etc plus post-mix soft drink, coffee, tea and dessert. 

It's a really great deal. 

After eating I went to bed. Hoping for a easy night's sleep, uninterrupted and relaxed.

It was anything but. 

It was rough, noisy and disrupted. 

I'd never been on a ship this rough before and didn't think it'd be matched (coming back however challenged this).

The sea was rough, but it was the noise of the waves crashing into the ship combined with the noise of the wind whistling around the ship. 

It was really quite awful.

Every so often I'd hear a car alarm go off beneath me. 

This did worry me that my ute's alarm might be going off. I had gone through the manual to try and work out how to completely disable it and failed. 

But I was fairly confident that the rough seas wouldn't be affecting it, down on deck 2 of the ship, that's quite low in the ship's centre of gravity, unlike where my cabin was on deck 7, or even where the vehicles' whose alarms I could hear on deck 6 below me. 

I woke up a few times during the night from the noise of the wind, rain and sea, so I didn't end up getting the best night's sleep during the night, and arrived at Devonport the next day...less than fully rested.

MICF 2019 - Daniel Sloss - X

Exterior of Forum Theatre

Sunday 14th April 2019 - 8:00 pm - Forum Theatre

I really love the architecture of the Forum Theatre, and it looks like the last time that I've been within the main auditorium that they've done it up a bit, as it's looking proper fancy and gothic.



I've seen the last three of Daniel Sloss' shows; Dark, So? and Now.

At the start of the show there's a voice over that essentially says 'this show goes for 90 minutes, if you can't hold it in for that long and need to go to the loo during, you may have to watch the remainder from the standing room at the back of the theatre'.

From that position you might have noticed a sign, stuck to the doors, which I only noticed as I was exiting the theatre because someone in front of me pointed it out to their friend, it read; 'Warning this show contains coarse language and themes of sexual assault'. And that might have clued me and the audience into what this show would contain.

Sloss at one point describes his shows as "75 minutes of comedy and 15 minutes of a TED talk". And this is kinda true, although the TED talk remains filled with humorous observations.

There is less a concise narrative than previous shows I've seen of Sloss'.

But broadly it can be seen as; children (in a father, godfather, sibling context), masculinity and what that means now; along with masculinity in all its forms (including toxic) and how we relate to it, and at the end, sexual assault. 

The last subject is not a subject treated with mockery, it's one that is covered with seriousness, or something that is of realness, quite stark and grim, with humour, as life does.

Like his previous shows there's grim humour present, but it's different, a different sort of dark grim humour from his previous shows. 

Sloss drinks throughout the show, both water and a dark spirit, probably whisky. But he is forever and throughout the show a professional storyteller, performer and speaker of opinions. 

Each year Sloss develops and changes his comedy and his opinions. He's always thoroughly engaging.

MICF 2019 - Tom Allen - Absolutely

Sunday 14th April 2019 - 6:00 pm - Greek Centre - Mykonos


I'd seen Tom Allen on many a British panel show usually shown on ABC Comedy and thought he had a quick wit and sharp tongue.

Evidently lots of ABC-type audience also had seen him, the audience skewed upwards in age from mid-30s in Allen's show.

I wanted to like Allen's show. 

I got all the British references.

He's got a nice, posh-sounding voice.

His comedy is about his life and living in the lower class life that his accent doesn't suggest.

About the first 15 minutes of the show was doing the "who are you and what do you do" for everyone in the front row, not just one or two people – which I've seen comedians like Wil Anderson do that at their shows. However here there were at least 10-12 people in the front row (and indeed each row of the audience).

It provided some nice comedic riffing. But felt a bit like padding the show because it didn't help to feed into his story or show all that much.

I wanted to like his show, but...I just didn't.

There was just a little too much shouting about stuff.

There was lots of things, lots of tidbits of tales that were funny, but...I it just didn't gel for me. 

If I had been closer to the door, I think I might have made a respectful exit, and left the people who were there, who were enjoying it, to enjoy it. 

Unfortunately I was at the other side of the room to the door, I was at least on the end of the row, so people couldn't really see me not enjoying it.

It's not to say that I didn't find some parts funny, I did, but I didn't enjoy it. 

I think I would still say to people if they like what he does on TV, see him, I think they'd enjoy him, but I didn't.

MICF 2019 - The Male Gayz

Sunday 14th April 2019 - 4:30 pm, European Bier Cafe

I was already heading to the city to see two other comedy shows and was looking around at what else was on in the city and saw on Twitter that this was going to be on.

It was in the same room as The Little Dum Dum Club live podcast was held, although the audience was much more...compact.

It was kinda nice seeing a live podcast that was much more intimate with fewer people. I wouldn't say I've been seeing the Little Dum Dum Club live since they started doing live podcasts, but certainly seeing them in much smaller venues with much more intimate crowds in the audience. It's a much more raucous affair now that they've headliners of an international podcast festival.


The Male Gayz is a podcast where friends Eli Matthewson and Chris Parker have a chat. I like listening to it because it's funny and kinda calming, they're both New Zealanders and I kinda quite like their accent, it's nice, like being wrapped in a vocal hug.

This episode they were joined by Rhys Nicholson, who brought on with him a bowl of chips he'd been eating. I mention this only because he requested a table for the chips and was provided a stool, but did not eat any of the chips once he was provided with a stool for them.

All drinking white wine. Bowl of chips on its own stool.

This live recording was nice, funny, a little sad in places. Full of remembrances of growing up. Of white wine, parents and being caught watching porn. 

There's podcasts aplenty of the podcast and also video versions on YouTube that follow the same format as the podcast.

I think seeing live podcasts is a great way to see comedians during the festival unrehearsed, just chatting about stuff. It's a great and cheap way to get a sampling of them, without committing to go to a whole show.